Category: Randomness

Joe really oughta keep these to himself, but he what the hay…

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…and a HUG around the Neck

A while back I wrote a little story, A bushel and a peck… about buying a small painting while we  were in New Orleans. The painting has a little bird with the saying, “I Love You, a Bushel and a Peck”.  I speculated in that posting about completing the ditty with another painting that said “…and a Hug around the Neck”. 

I contacted the artist, Katie Leese, at her website JeanBird.com.  I told her what I wanted. She sent me a couple pictures of possible backgrounds, and the artistic Señora picked one. Katie’s surcharge for custom work was only $10 more than the price of one of her paintings on her website or at her stand in New Orleans  I think the pair display very nicely in our kitchen. Most importantly, they make both our hearts glad when we see them.  It was money well spent.

Keep well.

 

 

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #876

yeah I know you did not ask!

Okay, this one is a little off-color.

For some reason I began to think of the word junk as being used as an euphemism for the male genitalia.  A brief search on the Internet describes the origin of this use of the word as murky.  First use in print with this context was in gay literature.  To me, it seems a little counter-intuitive to use the word, junk, this way.  Most guys that I know strive to keep their “junk” very well polished, one way or another, not something you typically do with junk. (Insert your own comedic rim shot here.)

Just for grins and giggles, if you are interested here are a couple links of the multitude of articles on the subject.

Origins of ‘junk’ as slang are murky

Even the New York Times weighed in: On Language:Junk

 

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #7,294

yeah I know you did not ask!

Okay, I am officially totally sick and tired of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.  I almost never read these celebrity stories, and these two are all over my Internet news feeds. Perhaps my aversion is the result of my opinion that Prince Harry is one of the most henpecked men on the planet. She just cannot be that good!

Henpecked was not my first word choice, but I try to keep it somewhat clean unless I truly need the seasoning of profanity.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,629

yeah I know you did not ask!

I want to add a new phrase to the lexicon, that being the “Amazon peek“.

We have not had problems, that I have heard of, with porch pirates in this neighborhood.  And I know that from some delivery entities I receive emails when a package is out for delivery and another when it has been delivered.  And I have a built in loud and insistent announcer of strange happenings in our yard in the form of a fierce 15 pound heap of fur named Lily. Brave is the delivery/postal personnel  that comes to our front porch .

But I still find myself peeking out the front door to see if Amazon/Walmart/USPS/FedEx/UPS has delivered whatever urgent item I have recently decided I could not do without… and 2 dang days is too freaking long to wait for any package anyway.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #7,132

yeah I know you did not ask!

One of the things I have been doing to pass the COVID-19 slow down is revisiting a lot of the science fiction novels I read years ago.

I’ve been focusing on other authors, but I have also started to reread Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Barsoom series.  Just in case you do not know, these are 11 short novels involving an earth man from the 1860s, John Carter, who is transported to Mars by mystical means.  There he weds a fabulously beautiful princess and has all sort of swashbuckling adventures involving much sword play and mountains of corpses.

Reading his novels I begin to feel sorry for authors that followed him.  If any individual adjective has a finite number of times it can used across the space-time continuum, then Burroughs has certainly used more than his fair share.  This leaves a dearth of available adjectives for those authors who wrote after him.  But then again not putting one or more adjectives with every noun might  not be a bad thing.  Perhaps by forcing this scarcity of adjectives it was a blessing for the readers of those subsequent writers.

Be well.

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Presidential Monkey Poop

First, let me confess that sometimes my mind makes strange connections…

Señora has not been feeling well the last few days.  This morning she was staying in bed and passing time with her smart phone.  She had leaned over the precipice and fallen, careening wildly, into the YouTube rabbit hole. She was watching a video of the Jimmy Kimmel Live show from 2017.  This particular segment was Clip of the Year, showing various short videos that went viral . As I came in with fresh coffee, the venturi effect took hold and I was sucked down with Alice.  Unable to fight the maelstrom I just entered,  I watched this one video with her.

My favorite was of a sports star from Europe or Africa that was receiving an award.   He was remarking on how glad he was to receive it and was thanking various folks.  He then went on to thank his wife and girlfriend. Realizing what he had just said, he gave the classic double take. He then worked diligently to backtrack that comment and only thank his wife!

The winner was a clip of a monkey who threw his poop and nailed a zoo goer right in the nose where the poop stuck. Ouch!

There were also a couple clips of Trump.  In one he tried 2 or 3 times to pronounce Puerto Rico correctly, never succeeding. And then… was the much seen clip of him throwing paper towels to people when he visited Puerto Rico after the devastation caused by Hurricane Maria.  For some reason it struck me as much the same as the monkey nailing the tourist with poop.

If you want to see the video here is the link:  Jimmy Kimmel Declares Viral Clip of the Year 2017

Keep well.

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Funny? or to the point?

This last weekend my brother Mike and I hiked the extended Sylamore Creek Trail in Arkansas.  The original trail was around 14 miles and I have hiked that section multiple times.  They have extended the trail by 9 miles to connect with the Ozark Highland Trail.  We hiked from the top of the new extension that starts at Cripple Turkey Trailhead in a southeasterly direction to Allison Trailhead.  I picked this direction as it is “generally” downhill.  However, if you have ever hiked in the Ozarks you know you spend your time going up then down, up then down…

At Allison Trailhead the first or last thing you need to do is ford North Sylamore Creek  about a mile or so before it enters the White River.  I have never made the ford without having to take off my hiking boots and sometimes more.  This is the same ford that Robin lost her panties while crossing, but that is a story for another time. This weekend it was only a little above my knees.

As we were getting out of the creek crossing we encountered a elderly man, a younger man and a child of 4 of 5 years of age.  The elderly man made some comment basically wanting to know what we had been doing.

I replied, “We are just finishing up a 23 mile hike.”

To which he replied in his slow Arkansas drawl, “Must have been a tough one!”

Keep well.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,929

yeah I know you did not ask!

The Señora and I were “discussing” the setting on the thermostat.  I was cold and she was hot.

She said to me, “Put on a sweater!”

I said to her, “Take off the 3 sweaters you have on!!!”

That is when she  diagnosed me as suffering from hyperobnoxicity as if that was the debate clincher.

Is there a cure for hyperobnoxicity, or is it for a lifetime like herpes?

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Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!—One, two. Why, then, ’tis time to do ’t. Hell is murky!— Fie, my lord, fie! A soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?—Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.

The above is from Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 1.  The first part is one of the most recognizable lines from any Shakespearean play.  Whenever I have seen it performed, Lady Macbeth is wandering around the castle with a candle in hand.

Ever since I have know her Señora has liked to play computer solitaire.  In the past she has always  played it on her desktop computer.  The last year or so she has started playing in on her smart phone, and of late she has been seen wandering around our castle, cell phone in hand, playing computer solitaire.

I am just waiting with bated breath to hear mumblings from her mouth…

Out, damned ace! Out, I say!—One, two. Why, then, ’tis time to shuffle. Hell is murky! — And so is this game!

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #3,524

yeah I know you did not ask!

It is very windy today in this suburb of St. Louis.  And it is November.  Most of the trees have lost their leaves, but the passive aggressive pendejos on the sweet gum tree in our yard are persistently hanging on. Sweet gums generally  drop their leaves 3 or 4 weeks after all their neighbors, prompting a new round of leaf raking with this curmudgeon mumbling something about pinche cabrón of a tree and inconsiderate timing.

I was pulling out of our driveway on this windy, fall day when a sweet gum leaf plastered itself on the driver’s door window.  For a brief second or two or a dramatic 3 or 4, I felt like I was in a B-rated sci-fi movie and alien face suckers were coming to get me.

Yeah… I know.