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Joe really oughta keep these to himself, but he what the hay…
I do not have an explanation for this picture. I assume that some very twisted Photoshopper had way too much magic marker…Or there were large amounts of alcohol or banned substances involved.
Perhaps someone out there has a hypothesis for this image. If so please enlighten the rest of us.
Click to see larger image
I can picture in my mind a world without War, a world without Hate. and I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.
A child’s face says it all. Especially the mouth part.
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we’d all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. Continue reading “More Jack Handey”
Seen on the back of mini-van
Saw it…
Wanted it…
Threw a fit…
GOT IT!!!
Cowgirl Up
A little graphical food for thought.
Click on image for a larger view
A regular golf course is generally 6000 to 6500 yards long. That is 3.4 to 3.7 miles. If you are like me when you play golf, it is never a straight line. I am guessing that in a round of golf I probably walk 4 to 4 ½ miles. A reasonably healthy individual should be able to do that in an hour of brisk walking.
A round of golf usually takes approximately 4 hours. Theoretically you are walking at the blistering pace of 1 mile per hour. In reality there is a fair amount of standing around, and then brisk walking to your ball. I carry my bag, throw in some elevation changes, and you have a reasonable amount of exercise. The figures I have seen say about 7 calories per minute playing golf if you are walking and carrying your bag. That means you are burning up around 1700 calories as long as you stay away from the beer concession.
This is not the first time I’ve been asked, “Are you really going to walk all 18 holes?” This time it was by 4 young men in their late teens or very early 20s. These young men all looked in good health, and were not carrying the excess weight of many of their peers. We conversed a little, and they just could not imagine walking the course.
I walk because a) I enjoy the game more when I am walking. Buzzing around in a cart brings in a rushed dimension to the game I do not like. b) I love the exercise. I am in reasonable shape compared to many of my peers. Walking the golf course is one the things that helps maintain my fitness. c) I’m cheap and I like to play a lot of golf. Paying for a cart adds $10 to $15 to the price of a round of golf.
I knew one young man whose reason for not walking was he did not want anyone to think he could not afford a cart!!! What a load of baloney.
Some golf courses will not let you play during certain hours unless you rent a cart. I do know some walkers slow things down a little. I’m not so sure that is a bad thing. I’ve golfed with far too many folks early in day that acted like playing 18 holes was just another chore to finish. That strikes me a missing one of the key joys of golf.
I have frequently played with folks in carts while I walked. Unless they are extremely good golfers with the ball in the fairway all the time I keep up with them. Frequently I am waiting on them.
I will acknowledge that for many folks if they did not have a cart there would be no place to carry the cooler of beer. Golf in this case just becomes an activity to do while drinking. Oh well.
I just see so many folks that would benefit from the mild exercise golfing provides, yet they feel they must ride or they cannot play. Given the current obesity epidemic how wonderful it would be if a few of these folks jumped off their carts and walked.
Or at least they could at least quit acting like I was nuts for doing so.
Credit:Speed Bump by Dave Coverly
Scenario #1 – You are in Safeway, Saks Fifth Avenue, Wal-Mart, wherever it is that you like you like to shop. The Sweet Young Thing (SYT) in front of you decides to get something from the bottom shelf. In order to do so she bends over from the waist revealing the required tattoo in the small of her back.
Etiquette question #1 – Are you allowed to compliment her on her tattoo?
Etiquette question #2 – Let’s say for the sake of argument the answer to question one is yes. Can you then go on to compliment her on her pretty thong?
Scenario # 2 – I was at the golf course paying my green fee. The bar maid / cashier had a form fitting zip up sweatshirt. The zipper was pulled down or only pulled up to a point about a hands width above her belly button. This revealed (among other things) a pretty white lacy bra.
Etiquette question # 3 – Am I allowed to ask what detergent she uses to keep her unmentionables so white?
I went golfing today and drove my MX-5. I arrived at the course and had my golf shoes on, and my bag out the trunk. The trunk was still open as I was ascertaining the status the golf ball supply on board my bag.
An elderly gentleman (he was older than me so he had to be elderly) walked up to me and said while pointing to my trunk, “You get them clubs out there?”
First thing that I thought of was Bill Engvall of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, and his catch phrase of “Here’s your sign.” I was so tempted to say, “No, I always come to the golf course hoping to find a stray set of golf clubs; here they are and here’s your sign.” But I restrained myself.
Of course, the question he meant to ask was, “How do you get those clubs in that little bitty car?” Since my mama raised me to be polite, I said, “Those Japanese engineers are just geniuses.” I then proceeded to explain to him the trick of getting the clubs in and out of the trunk
I was listening to an NPR story about payday loan companies outside of Fort Pendleton in California.
There was a big push on to do something about them for various reason, not the least of which is that some of them were charging what was effectively 300% interest per year.
They were interviewing one of the operators of a payday loan operation, and one of his comments was, “Who are they to tell a boy about to go over to Bagdad that he cannot have $1800 wheels on his vehicle?” His comment just blew my mind for some reason.
Having never taken a payday loan, I don’t quite understand the concept. But if I were to do such a thing it would not be for $1800 chrome wheels.
And if I were charging 300% interest I sure as heck would not use a kid wanting $1800 chrome wheels as justification.
I recently spent several hours driving through parts of Iowa away from the interstate. I begin to wonder exactly how much of Iowa was covered with corn.
Iowa is 55,869.36 squares miles in size. There are 640 acres in a square mile therefore Iowa contains 35,759,390.4 acres of land.
2007 they planted 14.3 million acres of corn in Iowa, the most in the nation. That means 39.9% of Iowa is covered with corn this time of year.
2007 they planted 8.8 million acres of soy beans or 24.6% of Iowa.
2007 they planted 2.5 million acres in hay (2 types) and oats or 7% of Iowa.
Between the 5 crops 71.5% of Iowa is covered with crops.