Category: Randomness

Joe really oughta keep these to himself, but he what the hay…

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Odds of Winning the Lottery

Okay, I admit it. I buy a lottery ticket when the prize gets absurdly big.  Of course, the minimum prize of $20 million would be as life changing (shattering?) as the world record $1.6 billion purse for tonight’s drawing.

Last night as I was in line to buy our ticket for the drawing for this extraordinary sum of money, the guy in front of me bought $40 of lottery tickets.  I also witnessed someone buying $24 worth a few days ago.  Last time the top prize got nearly this big I saw a gentleman buy $100 worth of dreams.

The odds of picking all six numbers correctly Continue reading “Odds of Winning the Lottery”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,610

yeah I know you did not ask!

The story of my life in an eggshell…

I was frying up a couple eggs for breakfast this morning.  As I very carefully cracked the first egg and allowed it to slip gently into the hot, non-stick skillet that had just a touch of olive oil in the bottom, I realized the egg had a double yolk. Wow, fantastic, two egg yolks, I thought, then both of them broke.

My grief was palpable.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,794

yeah I know you did not ask!

Beware – “adult” themed.

I wonder if this will become a new put down –”You’re no Pete Davidson.”

Or perhaps a woman being asked about her date last night.  She sighs and says, “Well… he definitely was no Pete Davidson.”

On the high probability that you have not been following the stupid news aka celebrity news, just type “Pete Davidson 10” into your favorite browser. The main reason I know anything about this is that Stephen Colbert make a joke about it.  Not understanding his reference, but suspecting, I did a Google search.

This puts me in mind of an article I posted years ago, Penis Sizes Of World Religious Figures,  which linked to the satirical article by Jim Goad of the same name, Penis Sizes Of World Religious Figures . At the bottom of that article was another link (I sweating from clicking all these links), 50 Women Talk About Having Sex With An Extremely Large (Or Extremely Small) Penis. All I can say is, “While I am the yin to your yang Pete, I am sorry, we all have crosses to bear.”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,183

yeah I know you did not ask!

I have a recurring nightmare. I am somewhere in the afterlife, in a large room surrounded by all my old girlfriends and wives.  Every single one of them is wanting a “debriefing”, a rehashing of our relationship. There is a cacophonous chorus of “we need to talk.” I can find no possible exit, the floor refuses to swallow me up, they all start in on me simultaneously.

Of course this is somewhat reminiscence  of an episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun. The many ex-girlfriends of the French Stewart’s character, Harry Solomon, show up at the extraterrestrial’s apartment at the same time, much to his embarrassment and chagrin.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,719

yeah I know you did not ask!

This morning I was visiting with one of my Spanish tutors for conversational practice.  This particular gentleman lives in El Salvador.   I had been telling him about our trip to visit the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. As conversations tend to do, we rambled, leading to our discussing property taxes which they do not have in El Salvador and most of the Central American countries.

“How nice,” I said, “we pay close to $6,000 a year on this house here  in the St. Louis suburb of Chesterfield.” I then went on to explain that if we did not pay our property taxes the government would seize the house and sell it for those taxes.

To which he replied, “Basically then you are just renting from the government.”

He may have a point.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,697

yeah I know you did not ask!

This morning I was sitting behind a pickup truck at a traffic light in the city of St. Louis proper…not one of the burbs.

The truck was sporting a bumper sticker that read, “Honk Again, I’m Busy Reloading”

While not the same as waving a gun at someone, how is this not threatening behavior? It is not the first time I have seen this particular bumper sticker and I never find its menacing attitude humorous.

So it should not go.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,600

yeah I know you did not ask!

Divorce is never easy, sometimes very necessary, but never easy.  While going through mine during the last century I came across the following that accurately described how I felt at the time.

Divorce is like hacking off one of your limbs, yourself, using a rusty, very dull, undersized pocket knife.

Oucher for sure.

I was thinking about divorce for reasons I do not need to get into here, but when do you know it is time to get a divorce?  Obviously, it is a very complex situation with many factors, and it is different for every person/couple. Getting divorce can be expensive, time consuming, and emotionally devastating. Frequently it is not for the weak of heart.

However, I think the when can be summarized by saying it is when one or both persons in a marriage stop treating the other person with respect, especially if it is a long term pattern.  It is time to go.  It is time to split the blanket. Life is too damn short to live like that.

And so it goes… about 50% of the time in the United States of Acrimony.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,825

yeah I know you did not ask!

Ahhh… the rumble of plastic rollers upon the pavement  as a swarm of trash and recycling bins are pushed, pulled or dragged to be perched on the curb in anticipation of offering their contents to the cacophonous, blue agent of the alien region, simply known as  Fieldlandia.  It must be the eve of Thursday trash day.

Gotta love the soundtrack of suburbia .