Randomness Archives - Page 21 of 45

2017/01/092017/01/10

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 278

yeah I know you did not ask!

I’m at the dentist getting my teeth clean. The young female hygienist needs to move a piece of apparatus that is on a pivot from my left side to my right side. As she is doing so the vertical bar holding the tray bumps into my feet. She tells me, “I need a couple more inches.”

My internal dialogue responded, “You’re not the first female to tell me that.”

All which reminds me of my most frequent golf joke. When a putt or chip comes up a little short I have a tendency to say, “Just like my ex-wife used to tell me all the time, ‘another couple inches and that would have been pretty good.'”

2017/01/05

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 1,613

yeah I know you did not ask!

We were riding in a taxi going from the airport in Cancun to the resort in Akumal, Mexico. Either in Cancun or Playa de Carmen I noticed a big Home Depot. It got me to wondering if there were American men congregated in the parking lot looking for day labor.

2016/12/232016/12/24

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 5,377

yeah I know you did not ask!

Yukky Gross… that moment you realize your finger has broken through the toilet paper! Which is pretty much what has happened with this last election. Only I do not see any soap and water anywhere near at hand to wash the Trump off my finger.

2016/12/17

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 2,268

yeah I know you did not ask!

With the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States, in retrospect the movie Idiocracy looks prophetic. Only this time there will be no Private Joe Bauers from 5 centuries in our past to come to our rescue.

2016/12/162020/04/24

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 6,499

yeah I know you did not ask!

My Jewish wife made a comment that had me trying to explain to her the concept of heaven as is preached in some fundamentalist Christian churches. Heaven is this wonderful place where the streets are paved in gold, where everyone lives in mansions, where the lame walk, the deaf hear… Where everyone is wonderfully happy and healthy.

This got me to wondering, if you had erectile dysfunction in life, is your organ now a rock hard ram of steel in this version of heaven? Asking for a friend.

2016/12/142016/12/14

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 341

yeah I know you did not ask!

So I am walking out my building after a long, exhausting day of twiddling bits and bytes. There is a young lady from another office walking out in front of me. I say to myself, “There is something odd about that young woman?” Then it dawned on me what it was. She had a waist, a very petite waist. Definitely not something you see too much of these days.

2016/12/12

I’ve finally crossed the divide

We’re in historic St. Charles, MO. It is Christmas time and I am with a group that is caroling through the business district of this landmark town of Lewis and Clark fame. I’m doing everyone a favor by not singing, but I am taking pictures. There are many individuals dressed as various characters. There is a frontiersman, there is the town crier, there is a Santa Claus whose North Pole outfit is based on the American flag, and many more.

We encounter the most adorable young lady dressed as the Sugar Plum Fairy. She was so full of energy and quips that it was amazing. She saw me taking her picture, rotated 180 degrees and commanded me to take a picture of her other good side! So I did. She looked at me and remarked, “I really like your milk mustache, of course it is a chocolate milk mustache…” Well it is not totally white yet, but I am working on it.

2016/12/08

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought # 1,644

yeah I know you did not ask!

I’m driving in big city morning rush hour traffic, on I-64 attempting to get the 25 miles or so to downtown St. Louis. It dawns on me suddenly that I am in a K-Mart world. Every few miles are so there is Blue-Light Special due to drivers playing bumper cars.