Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Nicknames for He Who Shall Not Be Named

Trigger warning: This is going to get crude… fast.

Giving nicknames to politicians has long been a popular American pastime, especially for those occupying the White House.  The current occupant stinking up the Oval Office, however, has spawned a whole cottage industry generating euphemisms and nicknames for him.  This quasi-humanoid has an extreme pathological need for attention, which reminds me of a psychology precept from Transactional Analysis, “a soggy potato chip is better than no potato chip.”

One of the ones that I see  most often is tRump, emphasizing the rump part of his name, which to my way of thinking is much too polite. On occasion I have riffed on that one and used tArse.

From the title of this article, He Who Shall Not be Named, obviously a reference to the villainous warlock of the Harry Potter series of books. In Mexico this becomes Innombrable, interesting enough one of the few examples of when it takes fewer Spanish words for a concept than in English. It may be common in other parts of Latin America, but I visit with a few Mexicans on iTalki so I know a little bit more about there. 

Speaking of Spanish, I frequently refer to him as El pendejo, which over time has morphed to El puta pendejo, then El puta pendejo naranja. If you are not up on your Spanish curse words I will let you put these phrases into Google translator yourself. One of the things about Google translator is that it will take the crudest of comments and translate them to something somewhat milder.

I was talking about the current cluster f*** that is the politics in the United States, and I used El puta pendejo with one of my tutors who lives north of Mexico City.  Normally I stay very proper with my tutors except Continue reading “Nicknames for He Who Shall Not Be Named”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #4,902 and a Mark Twain quote

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I was lying in bed the other night, the hour very late, staring at the ceiling, ruminating on mortality.

I am not particularly afraid of dying.  As Mark Twain said (and so many others having expressed similar sentiments) :

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.“

The real issue for me is getting from point A to point B. Commonly the transition to not being can be troubling, difficult, painful, unlooked-for. Hence in my late night ruminations, I said to myself that I was more afraid of not dying than dying. While I am still in reasonable health, the last year or two I have become aware of some significant bumps in my path to obscurity that could be popping up soon. It does not help that within our circle of acquaintances there have been a few lingering deaths that were traumatic on the persons and to the family.  Makes you wonder why the supposed Intelligent Designer did not put an on/off switch somewhere on our bodies.

And so it goes.

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I Went Cherokee on Him

In 1904 the World’s Fair was in St. Louis. It is less commonly referred to as the Louisiana Purchase Exposition. I mention this as it was an event that is still paying dividends to the metro area, Forest Park and  many attractions therein leftover from the fair.  Forest Park, bigger by 500 acres than the more famous Central Park in New York City.  There are two golf courses within the park with a total of 54 holes. It houses the St. Louis Zoo, considered one of the best in the country. Certainly do not forget The Muny, an outdoor venue, that brings Broadway musicals to St. Louis every summer.  There are multiple museums within the park and many other attractions.  The museums are mostly free, for some events there is a small charge.  The zoo is also free to get in.  The park and it associated attractions are an amazing blessing for the area, and well used.

For the purpose of my current scribblings, I am going to focus on the St. Louis Art Museum. Señora and I recently met some friends there to view the Anselm Kiefer exhibit, Becoming the Sea.  On the day we went, the museum had added a level to the exhibit by bringing a woman, Saundi McClain-Kloeckener, to interpret the art from her personal point of view. She was of a varied but interesting provenance.  She self-described herself as Black, Cherokee – but not on the rolls. Somehow there was Jewishness mixed in there as well. Welcome to America.

She went on to apprise us that she was a retired 1st grade teacher, very active in Native American activities, learning two or three different Native American languages, and a water walker, but, as she quickly added, not the Jesus type.  She and a group of other Native American activists had walked the whole Mississippi River from New Orleans to its source in Minnesota.

Afterwards she graciously spent much time with the folks who took the tour relating Continue reading “I Went Cherokee on Him”

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I Am Guilty Too

Just something to think about next time you buy something from Amazon.  I am as guilty as the next person.  I looked and I bought 52 items from Amazon last year.  That averages out to a purchase about every week. In my defense about half of that number were books or CDs. At one point I was buying used books from a company as a way to avoid Amazon only to find out the company was owned by Amazon. I did not look up the stats on Señora.

I have no problem with someone getting rich from a new idea or a better way of doing something, but IMHO there reaches a point where the wealth is unacceptably obscene.  If for no other reason, it seems to twist the mind and attitude of these people.  In a sane society we would have government policies in effect to prevent this mass accumulation of resources. As I have said ad nauseam, I have no problem with someone taking a second helping, if everyone has at least gotten a first.  That simply does not happen in our society.

Amazon has become so big for many different reasons.  I do not believe any of those reasons were illegal, but a few have pushed ethical boundaries.  I initially started buying from Amazon as they avoided collecting sales taxes for many years, thus making their products cheaper than locally.  As much as we all hate taxes, they are a necessary evil.  And now Amazon has seemed to have become a conduit for cheap Chinese junk. Then there are the labor practices of Amazon…

Thanks for all those folks who refrained from pointing out my math error!!!! Now corrected.

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Top 10 Tips for Surviving 2026

This is a satirical website, hopefully that is obvious… This video, however, is less so.  She is advocating some of the strategies I have implemented attempting to ride out the tormenta de mierda that is El puta pendejo naranja.

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When Awe Is Provoked Within Us

From Thom Hartmann:

Geeky Science. Feeling awe and wonder actually improves your health, both mental, emotional, and physical. Multiples studies over the years have proven that the more often we can provoke that feeling of awe within ourselves — be it through looking at the stars at night, viewing awesome art, or just simple spiritual exercises like prayer — the more it improves our body and mind. Figure out what triggers your awe-button and turn it into a daily ritual; you’ll see a whole cascade of improvements in your life, according to all this research.

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Crazy, Crazy Weather

This picture of Señora was taken this Christmas Day.  We were riding around August A. Busch Memorial Conservation Area in my MX-5 Miata, top down, no coats, no heater.

This is the forecast for Sunday night going into Monday morning, we are going from 75 degrees at 1 pm to 14 degrees at 7 am.  It has been springlike most of the Christmas week. Golf courses have been covered up and impossible to get on. Mother Nature is giving me whiplash!

Click to see bigger

Or if you prefer you weather in Celsius, we are going from 23 degrees to -9 degrees:

Click to see bigger

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,811

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

Overheard…

I was standing in line at the supermarket, well, Schnucks, if you must know.  In front of me were two young women, thirty-somethings, who, from the contents of their shopping cart, looked like they were buying for a party.

First one says to the second, “I heard your ex-husband had a blind date last night.  Good for him.”

“Well, maybe,” said the second one, “I am still good friends with the wife of one of his buddies.  She told me he told his buddy that his date had been a well worn pincushion full of little red flags.”

“Does not sound like there is going to be a second date,” said the first gal.

“I would guess not,” said the second.

They went on to other topics less worthy of my eavesdropping.

 

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,812

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I  made a run to a local grocery store, Schnucks, as I was out of my eponymous cerveza,  Dirty Bastard.  As I was walking in, an elderly Chinese couple was walking out.  Okay, the Chinese ethnicity is an assumption on my part, probably a good one, as there is a large Chinese population in the St. Louis area.  In fact our neighbors to our left are from Taiwan. But I meander.  The wife (another assumption on my part) was jabbering away at her husband in what I assumed was Mandarin.

Trouble was that she was eating something and had her mouth so full that the words were very garbled.  I just could not understand anything she was saying.

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My Current Mantras

Mantra is defined as: originally in Hinduism and Buddhism) a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation.  It has also come to mean: a statement or slogan repeated frequently.  This is the sense with which I am using the word.

The phrase I have been saying to myself most frequently of late is “be gracious.”  Obviously, I am saying this when I am feeling anything but.  It is something I am finding harder and harder to do with this “Me First” culture that seems to be the norm these days. I kept telling myself I do not want to be that guy when I have an urge to be less than gracious. Although, frequently, my technique for being gracious is to remove myself from a situation when I find it difficult.  I keep trying to picture myself as a kindly, white-haired, eloquent, elderly gentleman allowing the trials and tribulations of life to wash over me as gentle waves.   Yes, yes, I know in that string of adjectives, only white-haired and elderly would be used by most of my acquaintances and relatives.

I would have thought that when I retired my level of stress would have diminished.  After all I am not the person responsible for making sure the payroll software does not hinder getting the payroll out every two weeks, or any other roles I had in other jobs that involved large sums of money and much scrutiny by other departments. It does not seem to have worked that way. Clearly, other, more personal things are stressing me at this stage of my life.

The second phrase, which I frequently pair with the first, is, “don’t judge.” As an INTJ being judgmental is hardwired into my personality, especially as I have an analytic turn of mind… “don’t judge, be gracious.” I still would like to think that everyone is doing the best they can, although I do not truly believe that anymore.  Oops, there I go being judgmental again.

Lastly, and as it affects me most often, the most necessary, is the phrase, “do it now while you are thinking about it.”  All too often of late, I think I need to do this or that, saying to myself I will do it next, or in five minutes, or whenever, only to completely forget about it for an extended period of time.

So, there you have it, my self-talk.

Go listen to some Rickie Lee Jones.

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