Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Where’s the Pause Button?

There is a common cliché about your life passing before your eyes just before you die.  If such be true then perhaps my body/mind knows something I don’t know.  The last few months my life in review has been on a never-ending loop.  I ache to stop it, but expressing with the new word Señora taught me eons ago, I keep perseverating on the past.  If I could escape out of my mind I would.  Maybe I have already and I do not know it.

This perseveration likely has more to do with the fact that I just turned 70. I reckon I should be celebrating that I have reached this milestone Continue reading “Where’s the Pause Button?”

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What is a Curmudgeon + a Luddite?

Just to get everyone on the same page here are the dictionary definitions:

Curmudgeon – crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man ( although I would argue curmudgeonry knows no age or gender barriers)

Luddite – (derogatory) a person opposed to new technology or ways of working.

While you can certainly be one without being the other, it is not uncommon to see them packaged together.

All which got me wondering, what would you call such a person?  My initial response was Curd-lite, but that is very close to that awful, but most popular of beers, Bud Lite. I did like the fact that a curd is formed from the souring of milk. I also thought of Crud-lite, but that did not ring in my ears.

Then I thought of Ludgeon or Ludgeonite, either of which are sonorous and roll off the tongue nicely.

There are any number of possible combinations then I realized that there is one existing – old fogey.

And so it goes.

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A Room with a View

And no I am not E. M. Forster…

This is the view right now from our second story master bathroom.  What you cannot appreciate in the photos is the number of bumble bees buzzing amongst the lilacs.  Last year our lilacs and most of our clematis were zapped by a late freeze, not so this year.  It so pleasant this time of year to sit on the patio and smell the roses lilacs.

When I lived in Memphis part of one of my jogging routes was through what was essentially a tunnel of lilacs vines.  In the springtime the aroma of the lilacs was almost overpowering.  It always reminded me of hobbits.  I do not remember exactly where in the books, but there is a scene where the hobbits are overwhelmed by a sweet fragrance, if memory serves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so it goes.

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Me Be Bragging

Click to see full size

Well… no monster, but as big as a big mouth bass as I have caught in a while.  And before one of my siblings starts in on photographic perspective,  I challenge them to find a fishing photo that does not use this classic composition.

This particular fish was fun to catch as I was in my fishing kayak and was using an ultralight rig with 6 pound test.  She (full of eggs she was) took off running 3 different times making my drag hum each time.  All the while I had to position the kayak on a windy day to get it in a better position to land her after her last run.   Definitely, a very enjoyable battle.

Normally I am a catch and release fisherman, mainly because I do not like to clean fish even though I like to eat them.  However, part of the agreement on fishing this particular honey hole on private property is that I keep all I catch.  They are trying to decrease the fish population on the hope that will lead to more trophy size bass.   I am glad to do my part, and Señora and I both like  to eat fish.

Let an old man brag a little.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,116

yeah I know you did not ask!

It finally dawned on me that Señora and I are very different by one key ingredient.  She puts salt on everything, and I put pepper/hot sauce on everything.

At least we are a well-seasoned couple!

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #380

yeah I know you did not ask!

There is an old Jeff Foxworthy joke about a fellow with big ears, a big nose, big hands and big feet.  Jeff after describing him vividly goes on to say he better be packing as he sure is ugly.

Of course, there are all sort of anatomical formulas with various body parts used in an attempt to guesstimate the size of a man’s “package”, big ears, big noses, big hands and big feet being the most popular.

For most of my adult life I have worn either a size 10 or a size 10 1/2, depending on the brand or style.  In my decrepitude the size has crept up to an 11.  Sunday I bought a new pair of Sperry boat shoes and they were a size 11 1/2.  It is common for the shoe size to get bigger with age as the feet tend flatten.  However… I have not seen the corresponding increase to validate the formulas which does not hardly seem fair to me.  And am I now guilty of false advertising?

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¡Guau! ¡Honduras!


At the end of this article you can find pictures from our trip to Honduras.

Guau is the Spanish spelling of the English word, wow. Señora and I just spent six incredible days in Honduras and the best word to describe our experiences is guau.  Both of us were saying guau all the time as we were in the mountains most of our trip and the scenery was absolutely stupendous. And the people were generally kind, friendly and very welcoming, perhaps so, as we were, for the most part, away from the more common tourist areas.  My Salvadoran tutor tells me that he likes the Honduran culture more than his own due to the friendliness and openness of the Hondurans, known colloquially as Catracho or Catracha.

The primary purpose of the trip was to visit one of my online Spanish tutors, Saúl Rios and his wife Sarai Paz, this young couple, both just around 30, make their living as Spanish tutors online.  Saúl is on a platform called iTalki and Sarai is on Prepay. It is always hard to judge these things, but they seem to be making a living better than average for their country.  Saúl is Mexican.  As I remember the story he was on vacation in Honduras, met this Catracha young lady, fell in love, married her and has been there ever since. Ironically, as will become clear in a minute, Continue reading “¡Guau! ¡Honduras!”

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Words of Wisdom

These words of wisdom were encountered on the wall of a restaurant situated on a hillside outside of the beautiful city of Santa Rosa de Copán, Honduras.

To save you from having to run to Señor Google’s translation app, it reads: “Success is like a fart, people are mad when it is not their own.”

And so it goes

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,833

yeah I know you did not ask!

I was filling out a form online today that required the input of my birthday.  Instead of allowing me to type it in, the site was forcing me through a series of drop down boxes. I scrolled until I found April, actually Apr, and selected it. I then scrolled down a series of numbers until I found the unlucky number that corresponds with the correct day of April.  Finally I needed  to scroll down to find my birth year.  For some reason it started with 2022  – as if they pop out of the womb knowing how to interact with a computers.  Anyway, I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled, and before I came to the correct year I had to jump up and take bathroom break… that is when you KNOW you are old.

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Duck Dynasty Backpacking Trip

I went hiking this past weekend with my brother, Mike, aka Dictionary Dude, a semi-retired CPA.  We hiked the Ozark Highlands Trail, OHT, starting at the trailhead close to Ozone Campground on Arkansas Highway 21, ending up at the Fort Douglas Trailhead, 1.5 miles east of the Haw Creek Falls Recreation Area on Arkansas Highway 123. Total distance covered was 20 miles. We took it easy and did the distance in two and one half days.  Last hike we did was 30 miles in 3 days which does not sound like a lot, but remember we are carrying packs that weigh around 35 pounds loaded.  Plus these hikes are in Arkansas, you are either going uphill or downhill, if you find yourself walking on the flat for any extended period of time, Continue reading “Duck Dynasty Backpacking Trip”