Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #330

yeah I know you did not ask!

As the 3.141592  regular readers of my silliness might remember, I have written about the blue birds in our yard in the past.  One such story was Señora’s Bluebird House.

I was mowing the yard today, and the last thing on my mind were birds, blue or otherwise.   As I went along the eastern fence in the back yard I suddenly felt a slight breeze, heard a fluttering sound, experienced light touches on my hair.  I had forgotten about the blue bird house there and as I went by it the occupants were attempting to protect their property.  The blue bird of happiness was driving me away.

Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me

Deep Dark Depression, Excessive Misery

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Es una aventura

What prompted the sharing of this anecdote was an exercise I did with one of my Spanish tutors.  He was using a book of exercises that included an anecdote that about a person going to Paris on vacation, arriving at the airport only to realize they had forgotten their passport, causing them to miss their flight.  Due to the delay the rest of their trip plans fell through too.

The idea being to relate a similar anecdote so I orally told him one about the time we arrived for a domestic flight at STL airport, and Señora had misplaced her driver’s license.  Fortunately, after much ado, they let us on the flight.  We had a friend get Robin’s passport from the house and overnight it to us in New Orleans for the return flight.  C’est la vie..laissez les bon temps roule.

Since he also wanted me to practice my writing he assigned me to write another anecdote for my “homework”.  The Spanish version is at the bottom for a couple of you nerds.  Here is the same story in English, but it is not a translation.

Trip of Adventure

For various reasons that are not important to the arc of this story, my ex’s mother gifted her Continue reading “Es una aventura”

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Maximize Utility…Baby!

I dug this picture out of an old photo album.  Why will be clear in a moment. This particular photograph was taken mid to late 80s. I don’t really remember when, but I look exceedingly young in the picture.  The occasion was my finally surrendering a jogging t-shirt to the trash can goddess.  I only wore this particular garment while jogging, in Arkansas, on country roads.  Admittedly, all the cotton had fled from this polyester-cotton blend, rendering the t-shirt see through, but how good a t-shirt do you need to sweat in?

My ex (and probably the kidrens) “convinced” me that Continue reading “Maximize Utility…Baby!”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,193

yeah I know you did not ask!

Definition: Suburbanite – a person who spends half their time trying to get grass to grow and the other half of their time trying to keep the grass in check!

And so it goes.

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Towel Day – Thursday, May 25th

Okay, okay, okay… I am recycling this article as I am still waiting with my towel for that spaceship to pick me up – otherwise beam me up Scotty, it is too, too weird down here for me as of late.

Even a casual fan of science fiction is well aware of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and its sequels by Douglas Adams. As literature they are no great shake, but as entertainment they work very well.  They have made a movie and tried a TV series.  I generally like the books better than the movie and it holds in this case.

The basic premise is that just before earth is destroyed Continue reading “Towel Day – Thursday, May 25th”

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Señora Robinella

A friend and fellow teacher wrote this about Señora years ago.  When she rediscovered the document Señora talked about what a good friend she had been. However, due to her marriage and then her moving away Señora lost touch with her… something very rare indeed for Señora.

Click to see bigger

And so it was…

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Cheaper than Zoloft

One of our mishpocha sent me the following article: Why birds and their songs are good for our mental health

Señora and I have a large bird feeder with 4 stations.  We also keep a humming bird feeder out during their season.   I need to to count, but we have between 10 and 15 bird houses around the yard, most of them occupied.  Oh yes, and there is a bird bath, which reminds me I need to relocate it. The number of hours of joy we have gotten from these and their tenants over the years is incalculable.

I am hear to testify… can I get an hallelujah… that when the weather is nice and we have the AC/heat unit off, the windows open, there is nothing so peaceful as waking up at dawn with the birds singing in a wonderful chorus of different songs that seem to weave together into a symphony declaring what a wonderful day is in the offing.  Get up you old sleepy head.

Why would you need Zoloft or Jim Beam or Maui Waui when you have Mother Nature stroking your forehead via your auricular pathways?

And so it goes

 

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,149

yeah I know you did not ask!

You are sitting in your vehicular mode of transportation.  You are at a traffic light.  The traffic light is red.  You are second in line.  The vehicle in front of you is a Dodge Durango. It is a Chesterfield police cruiser.

The light changes from red to green.  The member of Chesterfield’s Police Department driving the SUV must be involved with his cell phone, his on board computer, daydreaming… who knows.  He does not move.

My question is to you is, do you give this Chesterfield’s finest a little toot of your horn to alert him to the change in the status of the traffic light, or do you just sit there, gnashing your teeth, impatiently drumming your fingers on the steering wheel,  ruing the day you were born, waiting for him to come back down to earth?

I once followed a Chesterfield police cruiser going the same direction as me.  We made three left turns with him making a final left as I turned right.  He never once used his turn signal. I guarantee (as my Cajun coworker use to say,,,drawing the word out)  I was diligently using my factory installed method of indicating a change in direction in order to be courteous and safe… and to avoid any possible ticket.

Can you make a citizen’s arrest for traffic violations?

And so it goes.

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I Love You – Part 2…

A while ago I posted an article: I Love You – Part 1…Maybe. What prompted the article was my wife’s use of the three word phrase, I love you.  She says it frequently and to many folks.  For me, it is not something I say so much. In the first article I explored some the reasons why I do not. I also gave my flimsy definition of love:

… to love someone is have a responsibility towards that person. I have a need to live up to my responsibilities, and there is only so much I can take on. 

When I say I love you I can mean many things.  It means I care for you.  It may mean I will take care of you.  It means I will be there for you. It means I will accept your eccentricities. And this is before we get to romantic love.

By the above definition I love The Wee Dog, for what that is worth. One of my readers commented that Continue reading “I Love You – Part 2…”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #5,680

 

yeah I know you did not ask!

Okay, some of thou may consider this a bit culturally insensitive…

Flipping through the news on my phone this morning, there was a plethora of pictures of the coronation of King Charles III. I had several thoughts, but the one that kept reoccurring was that, for all the world, it looked like an over the top drag show.  Long live the Queen.

I also was expecting a photograph of King Chuckie holding up a can of Bud Light at any moment.

And so it goes.