Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #323

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all my random thoughts.

Indubitably, you are aware of the old saw, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”  Contemplating the recent drama in my abode, Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5784.304, I decided that we have had this prosaism  wrong all these long centuries.  I am thinking a more accurate platitude might have been, “An onion a day keeps the doctor away.”

Bear with me, here is my reasoning.  If you were to eat an onion everyday, then the likelihood of the majority of folks being close to you diminishes rapidly.  You would thus keep the opportunity for them to transmit any number of human illnesses to you at a very low percentage.  Thusly preserving yourself in a healthy state.  Ergo, the doctor would be a stranger. Without a doubt, a proof my logic professor would be proud of.

Just to be on the safe side, if you were to throw a couple cloves of garlic into the mix, then vampires would be out of the picture, while also eliminating those final few hardy souls not put off by your force field of onion infused belches.

Just saying.

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The Global Impact of Curmudgeon-Alley

The Global Impact of Curmudgeon-Alley

Okay, please be so kind as to pick yourself off the floor from laughing so uproariously at the title of this posting: The Global Impact of Curmudgeon-Alley.  It is not seemly to make such a display of yourself.

What Does It Signify

The above is a global hit map of the various places a page of my blog has been opened.  I did not add this little app to my website until I had been blogging for a few years, so many hits from my “early period” are lacking.  I did find what it says Continue reading “The Global Impact of Curmudgeon-Alley”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #3,425

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of them.

Okay, this was not my random thought, but it could well have been.

One of my brothers, a fellow curmudgeon, passed this onto me.  He was at Wally World purchasing light bulbs utilizing the latest technology.  He had the random realization that, as he put it,  “the fire of these new light bulbs would, in all probability, be burning long after my fire has extinguished.”

It is interesting that my parents had five male progeny, four of us whom morphed into curmudgeons a loooonng time ago.  Oh well, as I am fond of saying some of my best friends are curmudgeons.

As I write this I had my own random thought.  Is there an Al-Anon group for partners of curmudgeons? Just saying…

And so it goes.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,916


yeah I know you did not ask!

You should be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of them.

I was cleaning up the phone log on my cellular telephone today.  I noticed that from all appearances my best friend – the one who the calls me the most – must be a person with the uncommon first name of Scam and the unlikely last name of Likely.

They must be reasonable thick skinned as they keep calling back even with me not being a very good friend/buddy.  If I just don’t ignore their call, I decline it immediately.

And so it goes.

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3 key principles for great conversation | A Short Video

Emily Chamlee-Wright discusses the principles of great conversations: humility, critical thinking, and sympathetic listening.

Three great rules for great conversations, and not easy to follow.

    1.  Humility: Get some techies or geeks together talking shop/their field of geekdom, and sit back and watch one-ups-manship on steroids.  Most of us want to show others how smart we are.  I know I do.  Dropping that and listening with humility opens up the doors of discovery.
    2. Critical thinking:  While it is sometimes important to point out the illogical or simply wrong comments of another person, all too often it is a conversation stopper and an argument starter.  As I age I found myself less inclined to do so. In all likelihood I am not changing their opinion anyway. If they are wrong on a factual matter, why embarrass them.  However, it does make me think of the young lady in Ecuador with whom I have visited via Skype for years for Spanish conversational practice. At times I think she is playing Devil’s Advocate to keep the conversation going.  Other times I think it is just her personality. If I say the sky is blue.  She will say it depends on the time of day, weather conditions, etc.  No silly I mean right now.  She reminds of a certain Springdale resident in this regard.
    3. Sympathetic listening:  This is the key. Do this and the others follow.  It is something I strive for, but my own need to interject all too often gets in the way.

Practice, practice, practice… poco, poco llegamos a la meta.

Enough of my silly two cents, the video follows:

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,858


yeah I know you did not ask!

Perhaps I am being paranoid, but perhaps I am not. I swear the maldito ChatBot was being condescending and sarcastic with me.   If I could have reached through the computer screen and slapped its non-existent face covered with bits and bytes, I would have done so.  AI, my derriere, more like Asinine Insolence.

Of course, I may have injured its fancied feelings when I made some not so subtle allusions to its parentage… something about being the illegitimate spawn of a Commodore 64 and Donovan’s “Mellow Yellow”.  Or perhaps saying its chips came from a third world factory utilizing child labor was a little over the top for its non-binary, woke being.

Which reminds me of when I worked in the labs at the Oklahoma Department of Health (ODH).  This was way before PCs ever came on the scene.  We would enter our results from various tests into a mainframe computer program that would then calculate the necessary statistics for us.  Well known among us lab techs was an Easter egg in this particular piece of software which is what we all used to sign out of the program.  If you typed in F#*@ You, it would ask if you just said F#*@ You.  If you responded with “yes”, it would display a middle finger constructed from keyboard characters and sign you out.

Somehow the new MD director of the ODH discovered this fun little game and made IT change it.  Obvious he/she had the same sense of humor as my contemptuous ChatBot.

And so it goes.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,126


yeah I know you did not ask!

I have a whole suitcase full of reasons to be angry at Ronald Reagan.  IMHO, he started this long, horrendous downward spiral towards Trump and all the other Republican crazies who want to lead us into Fascism.

But my anger du jour is about tools.  Yes, you heard me right, tools.

President Carter, a man infinitely too good and too moral, in the opinion of many voters,  to be President of the United States, put us on the metric system.  One of the first things that Ronald Raygun did was take us backwards and off the metric system.  If Bonzo’s second fiddle had left well enough alone, we would be past the pain of changing to a new system, a system incalculably easier and more logical than the imperial system we inherited from the British.  We would be in step with the rest of the world, not behind it in this regard.

As it stands now, I have to have two sets of wrenches, Allen wrenches, sockets, etc.  Half the time when I eyeball a fastener for a size, or try to reason out what it might be from where it was made, I grab the wrong tool.  If I think it is metric, it turns out to be imperial. Or vice versa.  I then curse the pompadoured refugee from the talkies for a full half second… which is more of my time than he deserves.

In my next life I want to come back into a species that is logical.

Live long and prosper.

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What a Long Strange trip It’s Been

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I was looking for something in the living room at the front of the house. We call this room, the music room, as that is where Señora’s 123 year old Mason & Hamlin piano resides. This piano is bigger than a baby grand piano, but not quite up to a full size grand.  I, humorously(?),  refer to it as a teenage grand piano.  This particular instrument nearly puts the piano tuner Continue reading “What a Long Strange trip It’s Been”

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Ozark Walk-About

Author’s note:  This is one of the first “long” pieces that I ever wrote. I believe this is from 2002. It was shortly after 9/11 and a job lost due to a corporate merger.  It was not the best of times to be looking for work in the IT field as literally every other programmer in America was doing the same thing.

I actually have it on another website of mine, but I wanted to bring it over to here to have my scribblings gathered together.

A 9 Day Walk-About in the Ozark Wilderness

Pseudo-philosophical babblings

Backpacking is occasionally just plain damn hard work, which sometimes makes it hard for me to explain my fascination with it.

In April when Jeff and I hiked the Grand Canyon we had gotten ourselves in reasonable shape by several training hikes in the Ozarks and Ouachitas.  If one can really call trekking through such beauty a training exercise.  Outside of the crowded coasts or someplace where it snows 13 months of the year, I cannot think of too many places in America more awe inspiring than the Ozarks.  I did not want conditioning to be an issue when I hiked to one Nature’s masterpieces, the Grand Canyon.

I usually walk and work out regularly, but with the way the job search has gone I have allowed depression to get hold of me.  Those activities have gone by the way side in favor of Gilligan’s Island reruns.  Go ahead, give me the opening premise, and I will give you the plot line.

One afternoon as I lay on the couch fantasizing Continue reading “Ozark Walk-About”

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All Christian denominations explained in 12 minutes | A short video

Many moons ago I worked with an Egyptian Database Administrator at the Saks data center in Jackson, MS. Besides Arabic, he, obviously spoke English, but his English was better than 99%of the native speakers in America.  He also spoke German as his parents, two college professors, had taught in Germany for many years.  He was and is a very bright man in many ways. He originally trained as an engineer, but discovered better money in administering huge corporate databases.

I was reasonably friendly with him, to the point of eating dinner at his house.  He was secular, but his wife was a very devote Muslim. I remember asking him if Muslims believed in hell. He responded adamantly with, “Oh do we ever believe in hell.”  And a tough hell it is, but you can get out of it, unlike Christian hell.

One night, at her request, I attempted to elucidate to his wife the various Christian denominations. I gave up in a short while as it was very tough slogging.  I did gift her a book on the various branches of Protestantism from either the Dummy series or Idiot series of books.  I really does boil down sometimes to how many angels are dancing on the head of a pin.

I wish I had had this little video to point her to.