Category: Life

S*** happens

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There is no turning away from the memory

I don’t remember her name.  I don’t even remember her face.  I was 12 or 13 and there were a group of us in the back of an old pick-em-up truck headed for the swimming hole.  I remember she was very brown from the Oklahoma sun , dressed in a bikini and I thought her to be an amazing beauty.

I must have gotten a whiff of her pheromones. That along with the sight of her bikini clad body awoke something in me I had never felt before.  It was the first time I felt desire, a need to touch the flesh of another human.  I did not really know what it was.  In all actuality, it scared me straight into puberty.  This emotion, this urge that felt like it wanted to consume me.  In confusion and fright I turned away to watch the country side passing by.  There is no turning away from the memory.  It has stayed with me all these years.

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Ali Goes Home Early

Picture Tehran, Iran in the early 1970s.  The Shah was still in power.  The students had not yet taken 52 American citizens hostage at their own Embassy.  While there was tension between Iranians and foreigners, it had not yet gotten to the point where it was unsafe for them to be there.

My father worked for an aerospace company who had sold helicopters to the Shah’s Air Force.  He was assigned to set up a repair and maintenance program for those helicopters with the Iranian Air Force.   Since it was to be a long assignment, my mother and the 3 boys still at home went with my father to Iran.  In fact my middle brother, Mike, graduated high school there.  The graduation ceremony for his class was held at the American Embassy that was later to become the site of the prolonged diplomatic crisis.  Richard Helms, the former CIA Director, was Ambassador to Iran at that point and gave a speech to Mike’s graduating class.

As my brother Mike puts it living overseas was always a bit upside-down.  In America our family was middle class.  Go overseas with a good American salary, per diem and other perks for taking on such duties in countries such as Iran you are vaulted into a different social stratum.  While my parents and brothers were in Iran they lived  in North Tehran, the “rich” part of town.  The houses in this section of town were behind walls and gates. Continue reading “Ali Goes Home Early”

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Hard Times Are Here Again

Words and Music by Tom Paxton

Some how this song seems so appropriate for the times I am afraid are a-coming.

Hard times are here again.
Folks are hunkerin’ down.
All the lost and lonely men,
Slowly leaving town.
Travelling by their thumbs,
Some are ridin’ blind,
Hoping things are better somewhere,
Somewhere down the line.

Don’t you worry Lucy, love.
See your mama through.
Soon as daddy gets his job,
He’s gonna send for you.

Hard times are here again.
All the wise old men,
Told us there was no way we’d have,
Times like these again.
We gave them all the power.
Gave them our belief.
We listened and we trusted,
And we landed on relief. Continue reading “Hard Times Are Here Again”

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Frances Ginsberg – A Special Lady That Will Be Missed

FrannieWhenever I picture Fran entering a room, it is this presence riding in on the wings of an aria. Perhaps it was from being on stage all those years, she just filled whatever the space was with energy and a love for life.

Her life was a lot like the operas in which she performed — a series of crests and troughs. I suppose in many ways that could describe any of our lives. Fran just lived her life on a larger stage. She had had a successful opera career on two continents, alternating between Milan and New York for the last 25 or so years. Unfortunately, that has all come to an end.

She returned to Saint Louis 3 years ago to be treated for stage 4 ovarian cancer. While she was there she reacquainted herself with many old friends, including Robin with whom she had been a close neighborhood and school friend.  Robin likes to tell the story about the time they entered a talent contest together and did not even place. Robin still feels bad to this day as she is sure she is the reason. I am thinking Fran got over it.

The treatment seemed to be a success and Fran went back to Italy for a while. She had a relapse and returned to St. Louis for more treatment. Again the cancer seemed to go into remission. She returned to New York this time, but only to have the cancer return. Continue reading “Frances Ginsberg – A Special Lady That Will Be Missed”

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“Sometimes anal is good”

We had a minor crisis at work.  I work on the Oracle HRMS system for a utility.  After applying a patch and upgrade we could not transfer the time from the time card system over to the Payroll system.  People like to get paid so we were more than a little motivated to get it fixed.

We gathered together as a team to work on the problem which took more than a few hours to fix.  People were getting somewhat tense.  Programmers as a group are on the OCD side and when we get stressed it tends to bring out this side even more.

Somebody wanted to double check something a different way.  He apologized for being anal, but he said he needed to do this.

I remarked that, “Sometimes anal is good.”

The room all of sudden got real quite.

I realized what I had just said.

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Pepé Le Pew

Most of my adult life I have engaged in some sort of regular physical activity.  The motivation derives from an effort to keep my weight somewhat in check and maintain a level of health.  Plus I just plain feel better when I am exercising.  This activity has taken various forms over the years, jogging, extended walks, bicycling, or lap swimming.

When my children were younger I mostly jogged.   I would come in from jogging, especially in the warmer months, very sweaty.  If a child was around I would ask them if they wanted a hug.  Of course, they did not, and I would start chasing them saying, “I need a hug.”  I would never actual catch them, but it was a fun little game (at least for me) that we played. Continue reading “Pepé Le Pew”

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Rev. Joe Goes to The Big House.

My folks would never have been in the running for the Ward and June Cleaver Parenting Award.  The reason they had children, let alone 5, is unclear to me.  It seemed then and seems now that they felt as long as we were fed, clothed, and a roof was over our head they had fulfilled their parental duties.  They were more involved with the youngest two.

For reasons I will not go into here, I was estranged from my father since I was 13. What few interactions we had were never pleasant, and occasionally they were violent.   Continue reading “Rev. Joe Goes to The Big House.”

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Step Away from the Counter

When I was in college I clerked in a liquor store for a while.  It was a great job for a student. On weekends we worked hard, but during the week the store was not busy and I was able to study hard.

I had a legal responsibility to not sell alcohol to people that were intoxicated.  Not only did I face criminal action, but as it was explained to me I could also face civil liabilities.  It is not always easy to tell if someone was over the limit.  It is almost always an argument when you refuse to sell to them, but I did do so a few times.  Continue reading “Step Away from the Counter”

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Rod, Rod…Don’t Leave Me Here

IHOP I went a hoppingI had medical procedure this morning.  My girlfriend drove me there, waited and then drove me home as it would be better for me not to drive post procedure.  Ella es una grande joya.

On the way back she offered to treat me to breakfast as I had not eaten for the 24 hours prior.  I mentioned something about Waffle House.  The pecan waffles there are just killer and you just gotta love that ambiance.  If it was good enough for Roy ‘Tin Cup’ McAvoy, it ought to be good enough for me.

But that is not what we did.  She saw an IHOP on the way there so in we went.  I’ve only eaten at IHOP 2 or 3 times before, and the last time was at least 10 years ago, maybe more. Continue reading “Rod, Rod…Don’t Leave Me Here”

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The Quotable Juanita

My father passed away 5 years ago February 19th. He had a massive stroke back around 1996. He basically cheated death at that time, and my mother always referred to the ensuing years as “their bonus” years. And they were.

Even though he had been in poor health for many years it is still a shock when your partner of 50 plus years dies. My mother was cast adrift in her grief for a considerable period of time. Fortunately, time is frequently the best doctor in these situations, and life does go on.

At some point when she began to feel better and get out and about, she ran into a female acquaintance. Of course, they begin to chat. It would not have been my mother otherwise. This lady begin to tell my mother how good she looked, and how much younger than her years that she appeared. I think there was a comment in there about how fresh and youthful her skin appeared. She then asked my mother who was 70 something at the time, if she had thought about getting remarried.

My mother’s remark back to her was, “It is one thing to grow old with a man; it would be quite another thing to marry an old man.”

Y’all just thought Oscar Wilde had some pithy quotes.