Category: Rev. Joe Dirt’s Ramblings

The unsolicited, unreasoned, uninformed, unapologetic opinions of Rev. Joe Dirt

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Arkansas vs. Arkansaw

As you probably know, Spanish is a phonetic language although it has its own peculiarities. For instance  the “H” is never pronounced, “B” and “V” for the most part sound the same, “Z” sounds our “S” except in Spain where it has a more lispy sound, etc.

I bring this up as when I am visiting with folks in Latin America I sometimes will talk about Arkansas as I lived for many years, and still visit there on occasion.  Spanish speakers always want to pronounce it as ar-KAN-sas,

Below you will find the rest of the story as Paul Harvey used to say:

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I’ve fallen in love with a YouTuber

I’ve fallen in love with a YouTuber, specifically a German who uses the moniker of The Math Queen: Her YouTube channel 

It doesn’t hurt that she is easy on the eyes, but what I really love about her is watching her mind work.  Does not quite enter the realm of affecting my nitric oxide production, but close.

Above is a link to her YouTube channel, and below is one of her easier videos to get you started:

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Bumper Stickers from Etsy

A friend of mine fell down the Internet rabbit hole called Etsy.  He sent me the following:

Nothing is further from the teachings of Jesus Christ than the Republican Party. 

No one is an illegal on stolen land.

If illegal immigrants are “freeloaders” why is ICE always raiding work places?

No child wants to die for your second amendment rights.

If you are more concerned with making other peoples lives worse than making your own life better than you must be a Trump supporter.

Everybody has the right to be stupid. Republicans are abusing the privilege.

Disliking a fact does not make it fake news

We longer have a difference of political opinion, we have a difference in morality,

Try being informed instead of just opinionated.

Don’t like abortions? Ignore them like you do school shootings.

One day we will wake up to his obituary.

If only closed minds had closed mouths.

Imagine voting for a rapist then calling yourself a Christian.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

https://www.etsy.com/market/annoy_a_republican_bumper_sticker?ref=pagination

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Better If I Stayed Home

I am beginning to think it would be better for me not to go out of the house for the next four years.  If there were any power in prayer that four years would be much shorter, much much shorter.  Is it bad to pray to wake up the next morning and be able to read someone’s obituary?  Of course, I really do not believe in prayer power.  When I feel the urge to pray I interpret it as telling me that there is a problem I need to focus on or let go.

It is springtime and with that comes a few trips to the local Lowes, Home Depot, etc.  As I was walking into Lowes this Friday morning there was a middle-aged “gentleman” wearing a t-shirt that read “Trump Won“.  In all likelihood it was from the 2020 election cycle and the attempted coup of our democracy.

I saw that t-shirt and it was like a demon took over my body.  My face flushed with anger, the flight or fight response kicked in, mainly on the fight side.  Before I could catch myself (normally I just shake my head and try to ignore such ignorance), I found myself putting my right hand on his left shoulder and proclaiming, “Most of us are fucking sorry that idiot won.””

His response, “I love this shirt.”

Fortunately I was able to control myself and not escalate the situation.  What nearly popped out was something along the lines of, “well that shirt does scream I have a  low IQ  or I lack critical thinking abilities.”

I am blaming it on the gummies.  The first week after the election I imbibed more marijuana that week than I had in the whole previous 40 years.  I have slowed down a little, but not much.  The one thing I ever had faith in or put my belief in was the United States of America.  Now El puto pendejo naranja and his gang of fascist thugs are busily dismantling this country.  There is no sane or logical reasons for what they are doing to my once beloved country and to the world to some extent.  I absolutely cannot stand reality right now.  Yeah RawDog2, I know THC does not make you violent, but it does relax inhibitions.

Pray for me.  Either I am going to end up in the hospital or in jail for battery after a confrontation of this type.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,955

yeah I know you did not ask!

You should so be blessed – well cursed at times actually – with a mind such as mine, making all these weird connections between my rumored neurons. Just be thankful that I do not share all of my random thoughts.

I discovered what my super power is: getting a Walmart employee to engage with me.

Have gotten the attention of a blue-vested woman pushing a restocking cart around the Manchester Road Walmart – once the biggest in the world – I asked her where the frozen orange juice was, having already wasted a good five or ten minutes looking for it.  Turns out it was on the very bottom of one of the freezers. They only had the Wally World brand with very bland packaging. So between the two, the OJ was not jumping to get into my shopping cart.

As I was watching The Associate key into her Walmart app the location of the item I was looking for, I begin to wonder… can you get carpal tunnel syndrome from such ferocious activity with your opposable digits?

Yes Michelle I know the anatomy.  It was just a random thought watching her key with her two thumbs so rapidly.

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‘Fess Up…

A package arrived from Amazon this afternoon.  Since neither one of us was expecting anything, it was a bit of a surprise.  Being addressed to me, I opened the plastic Amazon mailer to find a CD, specifically Jimmy Buffet’s Equal Strain on All Parts.  However that was all that was in the package.  I had no way of knowing who sent this CD, in all likelihood for mi cumpleaños, which is mañana.

One of my many, many pet peeves is persons who receive gifts but do acknowledge that gift.  I do not know want to be that person. I could hazard a guess, but to ask someone if they sent me a gift has a bit of the flavor of guilt induction if they were not the one.

So if you are the one, let know so that I can at least thank you with a quick email.  However, not everyone who loves me — I almost kept a straight face — subscribes to my silly, little blog.  In which case, I will just keep trying to finger it out.

Now don’t all of you try to claim credit!

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I Scared Myself

Something in my mouth was bothering me.  I could not figure out if I had something in my teeth or had developed some sort of lesion on my gums or…

I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror making various faces, attempting to get a view of the issue.  All of sudden I realized that Pennywise was staring at me out of the mirror in the guise of my father.  Well, at least the way I was contorting my face so reminded me of my male parental unit.  One time when I was taking his picture and he, perhaps, preferring that I did not, was making faces at the camera lens.  That is what I saw in the mirror.

I probably interpreted it as Pennywise as I finally got around to reading some Stephen King.  First I read his initial novel, Carrie, and then It.  Of course, It features a monster that frequently appears as a clown and in mirrors.

And just to do him justice, here is a better photograph of my father.

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Talk to the Lady…Please

Señora had a small fender bender in a parking lot in her Subaru Outback.  She is fine, minor damage to the vehicle. Thanks for asking.

This morning we dropped her automobile off to the body shop.  Since it is Señora‘s car and  she had been dealing with the insurance company and body shop I was trying to stay out of her way.  I ended up in a conversation with a gentleman awaiting his turn.  It turned out he was another IT guy who had been through a few corporate merger/divestiture nightmares like myself, so we had a commonality to talk about.

We finished up there, and I drove Señora across the street to the Enterprise Auto Rental office.  Again I was trying to stay out of Señora‘s way, but this time there was no IT guy to visit with. Having no where else to be, I was standing next to Señora while they were Continue reading “Talk to the Lady…Please”

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Hands Off Protest St. Louis April 4th – Pictures

This is a heavily Republican state.  Our particular district is so Republican it makes the rest of the state feel liberal.  I will have to confess I have been feeling hopeless and isolated when all I mainly see around me is a tsunami of red hatted MAGAs.

Señora and I attended one of smaller Hands Off rallies at the next little suburb from us, Ballwin.  It took place on Manchester Road (old Route 66), a heavily trafficked thoroughfare lined by shopping centers, car dealerships, restaurants, etc. Turn out to this event would have been amazing if it had been a warm, sunny day. It was not. Temperature was in the mid 40s. It was raining much more heavily than was comfortable with thunderstorms predicted. Given that, the turn out was phenomenal.  If you are familiar with this street, protestors were lined up on the north side from the 141 overpass to Home Depot, with many more on the south side of the street.

Besides the protesters on foot, many cars were driving by with anti-this-pathetic-excuse for an administration signs in their windows. Many more were honking and waving in support. My unofficial, unscientific survey was that for every car that drove by flipping off the protesters there were 200 or 300 honking and waving in support.

One protest is not going to do it.  We need to protest often and in large groups.  We need to get rid of tArse and his clown alley of Nazis who are hell bent on destroying our nation.

Finally the promised pictures:

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Just as a little side note.  Señora kept her streak alive.  We can hardly go anywhere in the St. Louis area without running into someone she knows. We ran into several at this rally.

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Keying Telsas – I stand corrected

In a previous post, As seen on the back of a Telsa, I stated while I had heard of Telsa dealerships being vandalized, I had not heard of individual cars being targeted. I stand corrected.

Folks are targeting individual’s Telsas: Man faces felony charge for vandalizing Tesla

While I would never do it, I have fantasized about spray painting a slogan or two on the nightmarish Telsa Cybertruck.  Has there ever been a more ill-conceived mass produced vehicle?

I would not buy a 100% electric car at this point as they do not fit my style of driving given their current range and long charge times.  And if I did it would not be a Telsa.  I decided several years Continue reading “Keying Telsas – I stand corrected”