This one of the many things that float around the Internet. It may have been meant to be funny, informative or both. It was sent to me as Texas translations of Californiaese. I think it works very nicely to expain the difference between Red states and Blue states.
Enjoy.
| Blue States | Red States |
|---|---|
| Arsenal of Weapons | Gun Collection |
| Delicate Wetlands | Swamp |
| Undocumented Worker | Illegal Alien |
| Cruelty-Free Materials | Synthetic Fiber |
| Assault and Battery | Attitude Adjustment |
| Heavily Armed | Well-protected |
| Narrow-minded | Righteous |
| Taxes or Your Fair Share | Coerced Theft |
| Commonsense Gun Control | Gun Confiscation Plot |
| Illegal Hazardous Explosives | Fireworks or Stump Removal |
| Nonviable Tissue Mass | Unborn Baby |
| Equal Access to Opportunity | Socialism |
| Multicultural Community | High Crime Area |
| Fairness or Social Progress | Marxism |
| Upper Class or “The Rich” | Self-Employed |
| Progressive, Change | Big Government Scheme |
| Sniper Rifle | Scoped Deer Rifle |
| Investment For the Future | Higher Taxes |
| Healthcare Reform | Socialized Medicine |
| Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater | Conservative |
| Truants | Homeschoolers |
| High Capacity Magazine | Standard Capacity Magazine |
| Religious Zealot | Church-going |
| Reintroduced Wolves | Sheep and Elk Killers |
| Fair Trade Coffee | Overpriced Yuppie Coffee |
| Exploiters or “The Rich” | Employed or Land Owner |
| The Gun Lobby | NRA Members |
| Assault Weapon | Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine) |
| Fiscal Stimulus | New Taxes and Higher Taxes |
| Same Sex Marriage | Legalized Perversion |
|
Overseas Contingency Operation
|
War
|
| Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting | Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs |
|
Global Warming or Climate Change
|
Weather & it ain’t rainin?
|
|
General Welfare of Americans
|
Gov’t Hand-outs at Taxpayers? Expense
|
|
Outdated History
|
Constitution & Declaration of Independence
|