Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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Mrs. Wolowitz

I stopped by REI in St. Louis on the way home today. As is my custom when I go there I took a swing through the men’s clothing to see if there was anything on sale that I Mrs. Wolowitzabsolutely could not live without. There was not.

As I was strolling through the department I noticed a man of medium height, slender build, bald head and fortyish in age. He was trying on Outdoor Research hats, not an uncommon sight in REI. I am few strides past the man when I hear a loud, nasal, female voice with a very pronounced Jewish accent say, “You’re going to Brooklyn, why do you need Gore-Tex?”

Thinking that I would be the one to finally see Howard Wolowitz’s mother I leisurely made a u-turn by a rack of pants. Imagine my disappointment when instead of Mrs. Wolowitz, I see an attractive looking woman who appeared to be about 10 years younger than the man trying on the Gore-Tex hats.

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I like Maude Adams

Maude AdamsMy father had a little ritual that he did almost without fail. Folks would be talking about anything, and someone would say, “I like xyz.” Of course folks being folks someone else would say, “I like abc,” or perhaps, “I like xyz too.” And so it would go around the room. At some point my father would pipe up with, “I like Maude Adams.” He always thought this extremely hilarious, but it did have the effect of causing a lull in the conversation.

I have found myself doing this from time to time, much to the consternation of my bride who has a tendency to reply, “No you don’t.”

I came across a quote the other day from Maude Adams. So I went looking for a picture of her. Turns out she is stage actress who lived from 1872 to 1953. She appeared in numerous Broadway productions. Here is a link to the Wikipedia article on Maude Adams. She was also a very beautiful woman and from that perspective there is much to like about her. Having found that, I began to wonder about the origin of the phrase, “I like Maude Adams.” I found a couple difference references. One was in a 1950 movie, The Happy Years, based on a book by Owen Johnson. I found the following posted on an online movie board: Continue reading “I like Maude Adams”

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The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas

Avery TemplatesIn current parlance this novel could be called a bromance adventure story. It is also historical fiction. In researching the movies I came across 2 terse summaries of the story. Appended to the 1973 movie was:

“A young swordsman comes to Paris and faces villains, romance, adventure and intrigue with three Musketeer friends.”

The summary attached to the 2011 movie goes a little deeper:

“The hot-headed young D’Artagnan along with three former legendary but now down on their luck Musketeers must unite and defeat a beautiful double agent and her villainous employer from seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war.”

A little more comprehensive plot summary would be along these lines. A young man from Gascon, D’Artagnan, goes to Paris to seek his fame and fortune. Continue reading “The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas”

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The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux

Phantom_of_the_Opera_1009I reread this novel recently after having seen the play. Part of my interest in seeing the play was to see how they adapted the novel to the stage. The relationship between Christine Daaé and the Phantom is portrayed in the popular perception as a beauty and the beast romance. My reading of the novel did not leave me with that feeling.

The plot is this. The two current managers of the Paris Opera House are tired of being blackmailed by the Opera Ghost aka the Phantom of the Opera aka Eric. They pass the reins onto two new managers, Armand Moncharmin and Firmin Richard. The Opera Ghost continues his blackmailing ways, but the two new managers initially think it is a practical joke either on the part of the exiting managers or their other co-manager. There are a series of incidences and disasters that change their minds.

There is the Opera Ghost who is obsessed with Christine. He becomes her musical tutor in a cryptic manner, but Christine thinks he is the Angel of Music sent from heaven Continue reading “The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux”

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Bitch Slapped by Wee Dog

lilyRobin recently added a member to our family, the Wee Dog aka Lily. I’m not a big pet person. Not because I do not like cats and dogs, but I just do not find the work and responsibility associated with them being outweighed by benefits gained. Robin is not of my opinion.

The Wee Dog is a rescue dog and as such came with a set of baggage and benefits. One of the benefits was that she was already house trained. Since we have had her there have only been a few “accidents”, and always late at night. To prevent such re-occurrences Robin shuts the Wee Dog up with us in our bedroom at night. Robin does not seem to mind what would be to me an onerous chore. She is quite willing to get up in the middle of night to let Lily out to do her business.

Now the Wee Dog does not bark to notify us of her need, she licks. She has a dog bed she sleeps in for the most part, but when she needs to go out she jumps up in bed with us. She almost always does so on my side. I theorize that she does this because our bed is high and she is short. On my side she can get a bit of a running start to make the leap. For some reason of late she has started licking on me which does not make sense as I never take her out in the middle of the night. I really do not like a dog licking me, especially when it is to wake me up. After a short period of time she gives up and starts to work on Robin.

She did this routine the other night, but the way the Wee Dog situated herself to attack Robin with her tongue left her tail in my face. The Wee Dog is an enthusiastic being, and she is particularly enthusiastic when she is licking one of her humans. Like all dogs this enthusiasm plays out via her tail which she was wagging vigorously. However, with my face where her tail was, she was bitch slapping me with each and every wag of her tail. That night I did expedite the situation by nudging Robin.

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The Phantom of the Opera at The Fabulous Fox

Phantom_of_the_Opera_Mask_by_EBlackmoreWe saw The Phantom of the Opera presented at The Fabulous Fox Theatre on March 7, 2015. I had long desired to see this Broadway presentation of the classic novel by Gaston Leroux. I had this yearning for a two-fold reason. First, the show has had such good press and reviews over the years I was sure it must be at the pinnacle of theatrical delight. Secondly, having read the book I was curious to see how they were going to adapt it to stage. This curiosity was driven by the beauty and the beast paradigm that the show’s advertising seems to apply to the Opera Ghost and to Christine Daaé. My reading of the book gave me no such impression. While Leroux attempted to bring the reader around to a position of pity for Erik at the end of the book, in my opinion Erik’s misdeeds outweighed the one act of good that he did out of love(?).

The stars of this presentation were Chris Mann as the Phantom of the Opera. Mr. Mann is a graduate of the talent show, NBC’s The Voice. He was Christina Aguilera’s finalist on that show.

Katie Travis played the role of Christine Daaé, and Storm Lineberger was Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny.

To put it bluntly, Continue reading “The Phantom of the Opera at The Fabulous Fox”

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Word of the Day – Balut

  •  Synonyms:
    1. None found
  • Usage:
  • “Everyone watched the American tourist with anticipation as balut was served to him.”
  • Encountered:
    • Visiting with a Filipino co-worker about food oddities around the world

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

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Not your average NPR feed…‘Am I Normal?’ Check Biggest Study Yet Of Penis Size, Among 15,000 Men

I found this story on my NPR feed on Facebook.  It is definitely not what you would expect from them.  They ware actually linking to another site, and here is that link.

‘Am I Normal?’ Check Biggest Study Yet Of Penis Size, Among 15,000 Men

Anything I could add would be superfluous.  But do remember the graph is centimeters. There are 2.54 centimeters to the inch.

penis graph