Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,183

yeah I know you did not ask!

I have a recurring nightmare. I am somewhere in the afterlife, in a large room surrounded by all my old girlfriends and wives.  Every single one of them is wanting a “debriefing”, a rehashing of our relationship. There is a cacophonous chorus of “we need to talk.” I can find no possible exit, the floor refuses to swallow me up, they all start in on me simultaneously.

Of course this is somewhat reminiscence  of an episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun. The many ex-girlfriends of the French Stewart’s character, Harry Solomon, show up at the extraterrestrial’s apartment at the same time, much to his embarrassment and chagrin.

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Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.298

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

Señora and I were sitting at the kitchen table partaking of our evening repast.  She mentioned the upcoming birthday of a mutual acquaintance revealing that they were turning 70.  This somewhat surprised me as I did not realize that they were about to achieve this “milestone”.  Señora found this a little humorous.

I went on to say, “I don’t know how the f*** I got to be 70 years old.”

“You’ve managed not to croak this long,” she informed me, causing me to spew pasta upon the autumnal decorations anchoring the center of the table.

Words of wisdom from my own personal  rhabdomancer.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,719

yeah I know you did not ask!

This morning I was visiting with one of my Spanish tutors for conversational practice.  This particular gentleman lives in El Salvador.   I had been telling him about our trip to visit the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. As conversations tend to do, we rambled, leading to our discussing property taxes which they do not have in El Salvador and most of the Central American countries.

“How nice,” I said, “we pay close to $6,000 a year on this house here  in the St. Louis suburb of Chesterfield.” I then went on to explain that if we did not pay our property taxes the government would seize the house and sell it for those taxes.

To which he replied, “Basically then you are just renting from the government.”

He may have a point.

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Pity Laugh

We just got back from a week long road trip.  Our first stop was in Owensboro, KY to visit my Aunt Betty.  We got there about mid afternoon and spent most of the afternoon and evening visiting with her after checking into our motel.  The next morning we were going to meet her and some of my cousins for the traditional breakfast at Dee’s Diner.  Needing coffee I went to the breakfast area to get a cup for Señora and I.   As I was doctoring our coffees a young lady came in, pumped herself some coffee, added some cream, then begin looking around.

I asked her, “Are you looking for something?”

“Sugar,” she responded.

To which I replied, “Normally I am accommodating, but we just met!”

That is when I got the pity laugh.

Probably I am lucky I did not get my face slapped, but being elderly these sweet young things grant me some latitude… such as holding doors for me and allowing me to go in first.  They seem to think there is no bark left in this old hound dog.  Gotta love this getting old gig.

And so it is going.

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Word of the Day – Maledicent

  • Adjecitve:  Maledicent
    1. addicted to speaking evil.
    2. slanderous
  • Synonyms:
    1. slanderous
    2. reproachful
  • Usage:
    1. In a 1995 speech on Senate decorum, Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.) denounced senators who accuse their colleagues of dissembling: “The use of such maledicent language on the Senate floor is quite out of place, and to accuse other senators of being liars is to skate on very, very thin ice, indeed.”
  • Encountered:
    1. Sent to me by a subscriber to Curmudgeon-Alley

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,697

yeah I know you did not ask!

This morning I was sitting behind a pickup truck at a traffic light in the city of St. Louis proper…not one of the burbs.

The truck was sporting a bumper sticker that read, “Honk Again, I’m Busy Reloading”

While not the same as waving a gun at someone, how is this not threatening behavior? It is not the first time I have seen this particular bumper sticker and I never find its menacing attitude humorous.

So it should not go.

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Furries, Litterboxes, Schools

One of the issues I have as a “writer”… well a blogger is that occasionally I have the urge to write a posting that may offend or hurt another person.  Most of the time I let the urge pass as my reasons for blogging do not include embarrassing or hurting folks around me. I am smart enough, after two marriages, to ask for a blessing from Señora on posts that involve her.  The Wee Dog can just suck it up. Besides, it is rumored that she cannot read anyway, but I am not sure I believe it. 

I could not resist the urge this time to share this anecdote as it brings home an important point in the current cultural wars that are dividing my beloved country.

The other night Señora and I were invited Continue reading “Furries, Litterboxes, Schools”

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Inflation Happy Dance

“William Meaney, the CEO of Iron Mountain (a data storage and management company with a current market capitalization of $12 billion) told Wall Street analysts in late September, high levels of inflation helped the company increase its margins — and that for that reason he had long been “doing my inflation dance praying for inflation.” A few years before, Meaney explained “I pray for inflation every day I come to work because … our top line is really driven by inflation. … Every point of inflation expands our margins.”

While the rest of us stand in the supermarket aisle gasping for breath at the price of food… among other places and other things.

Source – Robert Reich

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Earwig Redux

A subscriber to my silly little blog “thanked me” for so cleverly inserting a Tom Dooley earwig into his cerebrum.

As with all things Curmudgeon, there is a bit of a back story.  This Kingston Trio song  rose to the top of the charts in 1958. I would have been six.  Tom Dooley is the first popular song of which I remember singing the lyrics.

But…my mother had a favorite story about the four year old me being completely enamored with the Elvis Presley version of Hound Dog  in 1956. Apparently I would sing the song loud and often.  I am sure I was entirely precious!

As a favor to my subscriber…the best way to get rid of an earwig is to replace it with another one. So without further ado here is Elvis singing Hound Dog…

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Door Hangers

The last several times I have stayed at a hotel/motel for a duration of more than one day, housekeeping has not come into the room  to straighten it and make the bed.  It does not seem to matter what hotel chain or their level of service.  I attribute this to three causes.  First, during the pandemic these chains were super cautious and bragging about their amped up level of cleanliness. It was a way to keep staff safe.  Secondly, after the pandemic Continue reading “Door Hangers”