Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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Word of the Day –Bespoke

  • Noun: Bespoke
    1. made for a particular customer or user
    2. dealing in or producing custom-made articles
    3. engaged
  • Synonyms:
    1. custom
    2. customized
    3. specialized
    4. tailored
    5. custom-made
    6. tailor-made
    7. special
    8. custom-tailored
  • Usage:
    1. “Custom courts are becoming more common, but a lot of pickleball is being played on tennis courts marked with bespoke boundary lines to show where the pickleball stops. By square footage, a tennis court is three times larger, so “picklers” have much less ground to cover.”
  • Encountered:
    1. While reading: Editorial: Can pickleball save democracy? We’ve heard worse ideas.

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A Light in the Attic poems and drawings by Shel Siverstein

I found this little gem of a book while perusing Señora‘s bookshelves for something to read as I was “reigning” on my throne.  This book has been out a while, my issue lists the publishing date as 1981, but it has been so popular that there has been several special editions published since then.

While it is a book of poems with accompanying line drawings aimed at children, I found it very entertaining with more than a few that talked to me as an adult… or perhaps my inner child.  One such example would be the following poem:

REFLECTION

Each time I see the Upside-Down Man
Standing in the water,
I look at him and start to laugh.
Although I shouldn’t oughtter,
For maybe in another world
Another time
Another town,
Maybe HE is right side up
And I am upside down.

Perhaps this poem spoke to me Continue reading “A Light in the Attic poems and drawings by Shel Siverstein”

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Quote of the Day – Lois Griffin

“The secret to happiness is burying all your true feelings and living a life of bland compromise.” ~~ Lois Griffin

 

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #3,432

yeah I know you did not ask!

Apparently a lot of my fellow citizens have taken the old saw about Washington and politics being a circus to heart.  At least they seem to sending a lot clowns to Washington and political offices in general.

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The 23rd Psalm: Pan-Religious

Some of my readers might not know that Señora – my principal muse – is not Hispanic. In fact she is Jewish.  Of course, you can be Hispanic and Jewish simultaneously, but not in this case. Why I use Señora is a somewhat convoluted tale for another day. Most folks who are not familiar with Jews tend to think of Jews as they are portrayed in the movies or on television.  Those are frequently Orthodox Jews or perhaps Conservative Jews. I have concluded that there are about as many types of Judaism as there are Protestant branches. Señora attends a Reformed synagogue.

If I were ever to get a wild hair and decided that I needed to join an organized religion again, I would strongly consider Continue reading “The 23rd Psalm: Pan-Religious”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #4,815

yeah I know you did not ask!

This morning trying to get the the half and half out of the refrigerator I felt like I was playing a game of Tetris. I was holding my breath hoping it would not turn into a game of Jenga.

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Aunt Jackie’s Chicken Salad

I do not believe I am divulging an old, secret family recipe, but a treat that is mmm, mmm good.

2 or more chicken breasts – cooked until fork tender
2 hard boiled eggs -grated
1 or 2 celery ribs – chopped into small pieces
2 tbsp sweet pickle relish
Chopped sweet pickles to taste
Chopped pecans to taste
Chopped grapes to taste
Mayo or salad dressing

Chop chicken breast – add a small amount of salt
Add all ingredients, stir together
Add as much dressing as need to make moist
If desired add a “dab” of pickle juice for that “magic” touch
Mix well

Enjoy on bread as a sandwich or on lettuce for that low-cal meal.

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Odds of Winning the Lottery

Okay, I admit it. I buy a lottery ticket when the prize gets absurdly big.  Of course, the minimum prize of $20 million would be as life changing (shattering?) as the world record $1.6 billion purse for tonight’s drawing.

Last night as I was in line to buy our ticket for the drawing for this extraordinary sum of money, the guy in front of me bought $40 of lottery tickets.  I also witnessed someone buying $24 worth a few days ago.  Last time the top prize got nearly this big I saw a gentleman buy $100 worth of dreams.

The odds of picking all six numbers correctly Continue reading “Odds of Winning the Lottery”

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #8,610

yeah I know you did not ask!

The story of my life in an eggshell…

I was frying up a couple eggs for breakfast this morning.  As I very carefully cracked the first egg and allowed it to slip gently into the hot, non-stick skillet that had just a touch of olive oil in the bottom, I realized the egg had a double yolk. Wow, fantastic, two egg yolks, I thought, then both of them broke.

My grief was palpable.

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A Profligate, A Wastrel, A Dissipater


At times Señora is such a spendthrift.  She is attempting to convince me that I have maximized the utility of this particular pair of Sperry boat shoes.

Puts me in mind of a picture that was most likely put in the trash years ago.  I had a t-shirt commemorating Arkansas Razorback basketball that I wore for years when I jogged – in Arkansas.  It got to the point that there was no cotton left in the t-shirt. Just the base polyester weave, making it entirely see-through.  A picture was taken of me as I very reluctantly placed it ever so gently in the kitchen trash can.  I was thinking it still had a few more jogging miles in it.

Truth is I have a couple of other pairs of boat shoes that I purchased as I thought perhaps these were a little tacky to wear most places, nearly as bad as wearing a pair of house shoes to the supermarket.   Don’t tell Señora, but I did put them in the trash can today.  For some reason it had become almost impossible to keep rocks and dirt out of them.

And so they went.