Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

Posted on

I may be in a heap of trouble…

The following article popped up in my Google news feed: Nose Picking Could Increase Risk for Alzheimer’s and Dementia

The Carr side of my family is famous for faces endowed with distinctive sniffers.  I am no exception. My son used to refer to my proboscis as a B-52 Booger Bomber, for all I know he may still do so.

A well functioning airplane maintenance program includes keeping the aircraft clean, outside AND in. Being the son of aerospace technical representative, I have internalized his maxims about maintaining your tools and machines.  My rather cavernous airship definitely requires regular internal attention.  Respecting my father’s wise words I am more than prone to provide regular cleaning services… discreetly, I hope. And now I learn I may be pushing myself towards the dementia ward. YIKES.

And so it goes.

Posted on

Quote of the Day – Leonardo da Vinci

“There are three classes of people: those who see, those who see when they are shown, those who do not see.” ~~ Leonardo da Vinci

My for what’s it worth ruminations: I feel like most of the time I am solidly in class 2. I have had rare epiphanies that boosted me to class 1… briefly. While I have more than a few blind spots, hopefully I am not too firmly anchored in class 3 by those.  But I am reminded of a philosophy  that more than a few folks have espoused to me, “it is better to go through life with blinders on.” Perhaps.

To see more Quotes for Day, visit this link: Quotes for the Day

Posted on

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,794

yeah I know you did not ask!

Beware – “adult” themed.

I wonder if this will become a new put down –”You’re no Pete Davidson.”

Or perhaps a woman being asked about her date last night.  She sighs and says, “Well… he definitely was no Pete Davidson.”

On the high probability that you have not been following the stupid news aka celebrity news, just type “Pete Davidson 10” into your favorite browser. The main reason I know anything about this is that Stephen Colbert make a joke about it.  Not understanding his reference, but suspecting, I did a Google search.

This puts me in mind of an article I posted years ago, Penis Sizes Of World Religious Figures,  which linked to the satirical article by Jim Goad of the same name, Penis Sizes Of World Religious Figures . At the bottom of that article was another link (I sweating from clicking all these links), 50 Women Talk About Having Sex With An Extremely Large (Or Extremely Small) Penis. All I can say is, “While I am the yin to your yang Pete, I am sorry, we all have crosses to bear.”

Posted on

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #9,183

yeah I know you did not ask!

I have a recurring nightmare. I am somewhere in the afterlife, in a large room surrounded by all my old girlfriends and wives.  Every single one of them is wanting a “debriefing”, a rehashing of our relationship. There is a cacophonous chorus of “we need to talk.” I can find no possible exit, the floor refuses to swallow me up, they all start in on me simultaneously.

Of course this is somewhat reminiscence  of an episode of 3rd Rock from the Sun. The many ex-girlfriends of the French Stewart’s character, Harry Solomon, show up at the extraterrestrial’s apartment at the same time, much to his embarrassment and chagrin.

Posted on

Matrimonial Log – Star Date 5783.298

“Matrimony… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Casamiento Segundo, its until-death-do-us-part mission… to explore a strange new relationship… to seek out a new life and new adventures… to boldly go where no sane couple has gone before.”

Señora and I were sitting at the kitchen table partaking of our evening repast.  She mentioned the upcoming birthday of a mutual acquaintance revealing that they were turning 70.  This somewhat surprised me as I did not realize that they were about to achieve this “milestone”.  Señora found this a little humorous.

I went on to say, “I don’t know how the f*** I got to be 70 years old.”

“You’ve managed not to croak this long,” she informed me, causing me to spew pasta upon the autumnal decorations anchoring the center of the table.

Words of wisdom from my own personal  rhabdomancer.

Posted on

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #2,719

yeah I know you did not ask!

This morning I was visiting with one of my Spanish tutors for conversational practice.  This particular gentleman lives in El Salvador.   I had been telling him about our trip to visit the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. As conversations tend to do, we rambled, leading to our discussing property taxes which they do not have in El Salvador and most of the Central American countries.

“How nice,” I said, “we pay close to $6,000 a year on this house here  in the St. Louis suburb of Chesterfield.” I then went on to explain that if we did not pay our property taxes the government would seize the house and sell it for those taxes.

To which he replied, “Basically then you are just renting from the government.”

He may have a point.

Posted on

Pity Laugh

We just got back from a week long road trip.  Our first stop was in Owensboro, KY to visit my Aunt Betty.  We got there about mid afternoon and spent most of the afternoon and evening visiting with her after checking into our motel.  The next morning we were going to meet her and some of my cousins for the traditional breakfast at Dee’s Diner.  Needing coffee I went to the breakfast area to get a cup for Señora and I.   As I was doctoring our coffees a young lady came in, pumped herself some coffee, added some cream, then begin looking around.

I asked her, “Are you looking for something?”

“Sugar,” she responded.

To which I replied, “Normally I am accommodating, but we just met!”

That is when I got the pity laugh.

Probably I am lucky I did not get my face slapped, but being elderly these sweet young things grant me some latitude… such as holding doors for me and allowing me to go in first.  They seem to think there is no bark left in this old hound dog.  Gotta love this getting old gig.

And so it is going.

Posted on

Word of the Day – Maledicent

  • Adjecitve:  Maledicent
    1. addicted to speaking evil.
    2. slanderous
  • Synonyms:
    1. slanderous
    2. reproachful
  • Usage:
    1. In a 1995 speech on Senate decorum, Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.) denounced senators who accuse their colleagues of dissembling: “The use of such maledicent language on the Senate floor is quite out of place, and to accuse other senators of being liars is to skate on very, very thin ice, indeed.”
  • Encountered:
    1. Sent to me by a subscriber to Curmudgeon-Alley

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

Posted on

Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #1,697

yeah I know you did not ask!

This morning I was sitting behind a pickup truck at a traffic light in the city of St. Louis proper…not one of the burbs.

The truck was sporting a bumper sticker that read, “Honk Again, I’m Busy Reloading”

While not the same as waving a gun at someone, how is this not threatening behavior? It is not the first time I have seen this particular bumper sticker and I never find its menacing attitude humorous.

So it should not go.

Posted on

Furries, Litterboxes, Schools

One of the issues I have as a “writer”… well a blogger is that occasionally I have the urge to write a posting that may offend or hurt another person.  Most of the time I let the urge pass as my reasons for blogging do not include embarrassing or hurting folks around me. I am smart enough, after two marriages, to ask for a blessing from Señora on posts that involve her.  The Wee Dog can just suck it up. Besides, it is rumored that she cannot read anyway, but I am not sure I believe it. 

I could not resist the urge this time to share this anecdote as it brings home an important point in the current cultural wars that are dividing my beloved country.

The other night Señora and I were invited Continue reading “Furries, Litterboxes, Schools”