Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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California’s Pot Vote

The only time bootleggers and preachers voted the same was to keep Prohibition.  Apparently this is the case again in California where the legalizing marijuana for recreational use is on the ballot.  Two big opponents funding the opposition to the bill are the liquor industry and the medical marijuana industry.  Both feel they will lose some portion of the profit pie they are currently enjoying.  Medical marijuana is going for $300 an ounce.  One study predicted with legalization for recreation use, a price drop of 90 percent.  That would bring it down to 1970s prices, and even cheaper if you consider our inflated dollars. 

It is crazy to keep this substance illegal for any number of well documented reasons. Continue reading “California’s Pot Vote”

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New Rule

If your BMI puts you in the obese range, you are not allowed to keep a candy jar in your office or at your desk.

 

Apologies to Bill Maher.

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Sit, God

When I was in high school in the 60s I lived in Rhode Island, down the street from us were some older folks, probably early to mid twenties.  They would definitely qualify as hippies.

They had an absolutely gorgeous Siberian Husky.  The dog had the most amazing blue eyes that penetrated right through your soul when he looked at you.

At least one of the couple must have been dyslexic as they named their dog, God.

You would hear them on the porch calling for the dog, “Here, God,  come here, God.”  If you were in their house occasionally would hear, “NO, God,  off the furniture.”  Sometimes it was “Sit, God” or a “Stay, God”.

Funny thing is though with those piercing blue eyes you did wonder…

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Fool’s Gold

Fox most trusted news channel in US, poll shows

This one headline summarizes for me why I feel hopeless about this country.  The rise of Fox News is one of the most pernicious events to happen in this country in quite some time.  It troubles me beyond description that there are multitudes of people that believe Fox News is “Fair and Balanced”. 

IQ test here…Fox is to news as pyrite is to _____.   If you said gold, you passed.

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Test Your Religious Knowledge

A new study out by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life found that atheist and agnostics did best on a general quiz of religious knowledge.  Jews and Mormons were next. Catholics were last.  

 Many folks did not know the tenets of their own religion.

 My working, unscientific, lacking in research hypothesis on this is that many agnostics and atheists have studied and thought about religion.  Many atheist and agnostics did not arrive at their religious point of view randomly.  Continue reading “Test Your Religious Knowledge”

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To Executive Director – Gastro One

To Executive Director – Gastro One

First let me say that I had no issues with the medical procedure or the staff.  The staff was all friendly and very professional. I don’t know what you are paying the nurse in the recovery area than monitored me, but you should double her salary.  She makes y’all look extremely good. 

My issue is with your scheduling.  Overall I felt like just another widget in one of your profit centers.  I would bet a house payment that your bean counters know with seconds the average time and the range of standard deviations from that time for each of your procedures.  That fact really leads me to question your scheduling practices.  Continue reading “To Executive Director – Gastro One”

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Stephen Colbert Testifies before Congress

God Bless Stephen, he never got out of character and still made his point.

It would be interesting to see what would happen if Americans had to pay a fair cost for their food. If the food was not harvested by exploited illegal immigrants, if our meat supply was done in an ethical manner, if our food supply was truly food and not laboratory products…

Click the link below to watch.

Stephen Colbert’s Testimony before Congress

Here is a link to an article where folks were upset with his testimony.

Steny Hoyer: Stephen Colbert’s Testimony To Congress Was ‘An Embarrassment For Mr. Colbert’

My personal take was it was wonderful.  If you invite a cat in the house and sharpens its claws on the furniture whose fault is it?  He was funny, yet made a lot of good points.  The one at the end was probably one Congress did not want to hear, but is very true.  Stephen was asked to leave the meeting room after his “performance”.   Those sleaze balls in Congress take themselves much, much too seriously.

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Okay, how old am I?

This morning was the morning of my colonoscopy.  No problems, after a year of arm twisting from my Internist I went for the screening procedure.

My girlfriend drove me there and waited with me, and then waited for me.  As I was waiting my turn, for some reason behind my paper I begin to make fart noises.  My girlfriend chided me telling this was not an appropriate place to be doing that.  I cannot think of a better place myself. Continue reading “Okay, how old am I?”

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Rod, Rod…Don’t Leave Me Here

IHOP I went a hoppingI had medical procedure this morning.  My girlfriend drove me there, waited and then drove me home as it would be better for me not to drive post procedure.  Ella es una grande joya.

On the way back she offered to treat me to breakfast as I had not eaten for the 24 hours prior.  I mentioned something about Waffle House.  The pecan waffles there are just killer and you just gotta love that ambiance.  If it was good enough for Roy ‘Tin Cup’ McAvoy, it ought to be good enough for me.

But that is not what we did.  She saw an IHOP on the way there so in we went.  I’ve only eaten at IHOP 2 or 3 times before, and the last time was at least 10 years ago, maybe more. Continue reading “Rod, Rod…Don’t Leave Me Here”

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Another Annoyance of Life in the 21st Century

You are walking through a building and you see someone you know.  You are approaching each other at right angles.   You smile, wave, say hi; invoke some method to acknowledge their presence in the universe.  They responded weakly in the same or similar manner.   

As you pass each other you hear them speaking so you turn and indicate that you did not quite pick up what they just said. 

They turn and look at you in an annoyed manner,  indicating that they are talking on the phone. 

Sorry, I did not see the Bluetooth tucked beneath your hair.

I remember several years ago when these devices first became popular.  I was in the San Antonio airport returning from a job interview.   It was the middle of the week so there were a lot of business travelers.  It seemed that just about half of them had Bluetooth earpieces.  As they walked around talking on these things the little lights were flashing.  What immediately came to mind is from Star Trek: The Next Generation, “We are Borg, you will be assimilated.”

I think we are well on our collective way.