Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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Delight to Sadness

A while ago I bought  Robin a book, The Book of Delights:  Essays by Ross Gay. I had heard the author interviewed on an NPR program during which he had also read a few passages from his book.  I thought it might be something she would enjoy.

A week or two ago I put the book on the reading table next to the throne.  I’ve been reading an essay or two each morning during my “meditation” time.  For this reason I have been thinking a bit more of delight and joy than I normally do. Señora is not reticent about using the word grumpy Continue reading “Delight to Sadness”

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Audio Book Snobbery

  First a couple confessions… this is going to be a bit of a curmudgeonly rant. Secondly, my name is David, I am a former audio book snob.

What is an audio book snob? There are many folks out there that feel if the medium for accessing a book is not reading it is a bit of a cheat.  If you listen to a novel rather than read it, you have violated some unwritten rule of the universe.  I have a social acquaintance that knows I ingest a fair number of books annually.  In response to his conversational gambit if I start talking about a recently partaken book, he will ask me with a slight sneer in his voice did I read it or listened to it.  He discounts my experience with the book if I listened to it.

Not too soon after I met Robin the economic crisis of 2008 hit.  I was contracting at the financial company Edward Jones.  Their response to the crisis was to bid adieu to all their contract employees.  So suddenly I was out of work in the middle Continue reading “Audio Book Snobbery”

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Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!—One, two. Why, then, ’tis time to do ’t. Hell is murky!— Fie, my lord, fie! A soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who knows it, when none can call our power to account?—Yet who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.

The above is from Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 1.  The first part is one of the most recognizable lines from any Shakespearean play.  Whenever I have seen it performed, Lady Macbeth is wandering around the castle with a candle in hand.

Ever since I have know her Señora has liked to play computer solitaire.  In the past she has always  played it on her desktop computer.  The last year or so she has started playing in on her smart phone, and of late she has been seen wandering around our castle, cell phone in hand, playing computer solitaire.

I am just waiting with bated breath to hear mumblings from her mouth…

Out, damned ace! Out, I say!—One, two. Why, then, ’tis time to shuffle. Hell is murky! — And so is this game!

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #3,524

yeah I know you did not ask!

It is very windy today in this suburb of St. Louis.  And it is November.  Most of the trees have lost their leaves, but the passive aggressive pendejos on the sweet gum tree in our yard are persistently hanging on. Sweet gums generally  drop their leaves 3 or 4 weeks after all their neighbors, prompting a new round of leaf raking with this curmudgeon mumbling something about pinche cabrón of a tree and inconsiderate timing.

I was pulling out of our driveway on this windy, fall day when a sweet gum leaf plastered itself on the driver’s door window.  For a brief second or two or a dramatic 3 or 4, I felt like I was in a B-rated sci-fi movie and alien face suckers were coming to get me.

Yeah… I know.

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Word of the Day – Plinth

  • Noun: Plinth

    1. a : the lowest member of a base : subbase
      b : a block upon which the moldings of an architrave or trim are stopped at the bottom
    2.  a usually square block serving as a base broadly : any of various bases or lower parts
    3. : a course of stones forming a continuous foundation or base course
  • Synonyms:
    1. podium
    2. base
    3. bed
    4. bottom
    5. foot
    6. foundation
    7. stand
    8. substructure
    9. support
  • Usage:
    1. “Well… perhaps we can put a statue of you on one of those empty plinths.“
  • Encountered:
    1. Listening to a podcast of Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell me! Chatting with a contestant from Richmond, Virginia before the contest Peter Sagal asked about the confederate statues being removed in Richmond.  He went on to tell the contestant that if he won they might put a statue of him on one of the empty plinths.

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #4,439

yeah I know you did not ask!

I’ve been using the disposable fiber face masks like you buy in the first aid section of Wal-Mart for most of the pandemic.

I’ve been wanting to get something a little more stylish so when I was in Wally World the other day, I went looking for the black cloth face masks that are so popular.  I found a big display of them made by Hanes at a reasonable price.  The box stated “Fits Most”.

When I got home I broke open the box and tried one on.  It was much too small for me.  I reckon all the people who have been telling me for years that I have a big head were right!

However prominent proboscises are de rigueur on both sides of the family, and my own is a fine example of this family trait.  Add to that the fact that my chin usually precedes me into a room…  well come to think of it I do have a big head.

Reminds me a bit of the old Jeff Foxworthy joke of the man who had big ears, a big nose, big hands and big feet,  he was so ugly he better be packing.

Ba Dum.

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #234

yeah I know you did not ask!

Just before you cross the Mississippi River on I-255 there is big billboard advertising a Mexican restaurant on the Illinois side.  What grabs my attention every time  is the huge statement declaring that they have “The freshest margaritas on either side of the river“.

I have never thought of a margarita as being either fresh or stale.  Perhaps frozen or on the rocks, salt on the rim or not, made with top shelf tequila as opposed to under the bar instant hangover rotgut, but never as fresh or stale.

I finally decided what a fresh margarita must be is one served by a sassy señorita in a too short skirt.  I just may have to check out their beverage claims.

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Going, Going, Gone

On Jan. 20, 2017 I put the “Not My President” bumper sticker on my truck.  I also put the American flag in the distress configuration on it.  For the first few months afterwards I was getting flipped off regularly.  Then it more or less stopped.  The flipping off restarted the couple months leading up to the election.  I got where I did not flip them off in return, but held up my thumb and forefinger about one inch apart to represent my estimation of their manhood.  I don’t recall a woman ever giving me the finger.

With Joe Biden set to become the 46th President I feel I can take the bumper stickers off.  I feel like I am waking up from one the worst nightmares of my life.  A nightmare that has gone on for 4 years.  I know we have a couple more months of the Orange Monster, and that he can do much damage in the that time period. But I can see daylight.  I can see a time when I might start feeling some pride for my country again.

I cannot express the relief that I felt with the election of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.  And at the same time the disappointment I felt in so many of my fellow citizens. In my life time of presidential elections there has never been a clearer choice between good and evil.  Yet almost half the country chose to vote for Darth Vader over Yoda.  I do not really understand why anyone would have voted for Trump in 2016, but I more or less excused them as buying into to his bull.  This time around it is incomprehensible for me.  They have had 4 years of watching his incompetence and malevolence, and they did it again.  Oh well.

Going, going, and soon to be gone.

Keep well.