Author: Rev. Joe Dirt

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A Lighter Side of Alzheimer’s???

     Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease.  That one sentence by itself could be a blog article.  Alzheimer’s robs a person of the possibility of living life fully, in many cases joyfully, and frequently with dignity. Alzheimer’s robs the family of the person they knew and loved. It is a horrible way to fade out of this existence. It is a horrible disease to watch a loved one go through.

However, Alzheimer’s can have its lighter side, and perhaps something you might very loosely term a “silver lining”.  In another blog article, Hanging from the back bumper, I accused Saturday Night Live of modeling their character The Church Lady after my mother.  Obviously a bit of hyperbole, Continue reading “A Lighter Side of Alzheimer’s???”

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Rallllllffffff….

More often than I would like to own up to, I revert to being a 13 year old boy.  One of my less than adult behaviors is enunciating the name Ralph while I eructate (burp).  Yes, I know, boys will be boys…

I did so this morning and Señora asked me, “who is Ralph?”

“I don’t know, it is just something I say,” I answered.

She next asked, “Have you ever known any Ralphs?”

“Well”, I said, “Not that I recall, have you?”

“Nope, me neither,” she added.

“It is not a very common name now days,” was my brilliant response.

Señora then proceeded to say Ralph several ways, adding that it was a harsh name when spoken.

Thinking of Ralph Kramden of The Honeymooners I said, “An easy name for your wife to yell at you meanly.”

Not missing a beat Señora replied, “David works pretty good too.”

Related??? – At one point my brother Mark could recite the alphabet while burping… I don’t know if he is still in practice.

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Word of the Day – Parkour

  • Noun: Parkour
    1. the activity or sport of moving rapidly through an area, typically in an urban environment, negotiating obstacles by running, jumping, and climbing
  • Synonyms:
    1.  none found… that were consistent with the definition
  • Usage:
    1. “Runners are the messengers of the future who practice parkour to deliver underground messages to revolutionary factions in the city. Free Running is an exercise/sports game based on the Parkour urban game where athletes use their surroundings to maneuver around areas.”
  • Encountered:
    1. My sadistic spouse, the Mistress Robin, for Christmas gave poor little old OCD me a daily calendar of puzzles, well knowing that I could not let them go unsolved, thus driving me stark raving mad.  Fortunately most of the puzzles are reasonably simple.  The one for April 6th was a puzzle  of word fragments that resulted in 20 words with a sports theme.  I was down to par and kour, either order did not make sense to me so I peeked at the answer.  I then had to look up the definition of parkour.  I have learned something new, I can go home now?

To see more Words of the Day, visit this link: Words of the Day

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Rev. Joe’s Random Thought #6,930

yeah I know you did not ask!

There is a unit on vehicles called a flasher; it controls the flashing of the turn signals and emergency lights.  It also is responsible for the clicking sound that you hear when they are engaged.  I became familiar with this device when I drove an ice cream truck a couple summers in Oklahoma City while I was in college.  Since we drove very slowly in neighborhoods and had kids running up to the truck we had the emergency flashers on much of the time.  This resulted in the flasher unit having to be replaced several times a season.

I don’t have this problem in my Tacoma, but in my MX-5 Miata and my wife’s Subaru Outback I have an issue with leaving the turn signal on.  In the Outback if I get everything adjusted just right, I can see the indicator on the dashboard.  I have a harder time in the Miata.  This results in the old man syndrome of driving with my turn signal on for miles and miles and miles.

I went looking on the Internet, and they do make flashers with a louder sound.  One was advertising up to 5 times louder than normal. Why they are not marketing these aggressively to senior citizens I do not know, but if anyone wants to buy me a birthday present next year…

Just as an aside I was driving somewhere with the grandkids and their mother in the Outback.  She advised me that I still had my turn signal on even though I was done changing lanes.  I politely informed her that I was entitled as I was over 60.

And so it goes.

 

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Flags Half Mast

When I was young it seemed to be an extraordinary event when the United States flag was flown at half mast.  It was especially so back then as it did not happen that often.  It is still a big deal to fly the flag at half mast, but it seems to be happening all the time now.  Often it seems to be for victims of yet another mass shooting incident which are  an absolute pandemic in this country.  After the recent FedEx shooting in Indianapolis, there were two more of ONLY 3 or so people, one in Wisconsin and one Texas, this past weekend.

I am going to suggest that it would be easier and saner to leave the flags at half mast all the time until we do something about the availability of guns in this country – especially assault style rifles – and gun laws in general. The fact that we have failed to act on gun legislation, that guns have become so prevalent in our society, that mass shootings are so common, that guns are especially problematic in inner cities (there is nearly a gun death a day in St. Louis), is reason enough to be flying the flag at half mast.  I am not so sure that we should not be flying it upside down as a signal of dire distress.

And so it goes.

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It is official: I am old

By whatever methodology of measure you elect to utilize, I am not a young man.  I have not been so for a while now.  The other day I celebrated my 69th birthday by mowing and fertilizing the lawn.  Brothers being brothers, one of mine reminded me that as of my birthday this year I was beginning my 70th circuit around the sun. Thanks Mike, now pass me the foam encounter bat, you fellow old curmudgeon. My wife, for my birthday this year, bought me a coffee mug with my name on it.  I deduced that she was afraid that with my advancing decrepitude I might not remember who I was… let it alone my name.

However, the real kicker Continue reading “It is official: I am old”