A comment to me recently started me thinking about what is the difference between acceptance and tolerance. The comment was this:
“To me homosexuality is not acceptable behavior. Why are Liberals trying to force me to accept this? I feel discriminated against.”
One definition of acceptance is — the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group. Another is — favorable reception; approval; favor. Tolerance is defined as — the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.
Even a cursory glance at the human race gives the impression of great diversity among its members. This is truly amazing when you consider that if you were to pick two random individuals and sequence their DNA there would be a 99.9% match. Then you back up a step and consider what we do to each other over very minor differences. We persecute people based on the shade of their skin. We marginalize half our race based on gender. We kill members of another religion because their beliefs in imaginary supernatural beings do not match ours. What we do to each other for the sake of money and power is truly obscene. But I digress.
In the so-called cultural wars one sides feels like the other side is forcing homosexuality on them. For various reasons they find homosexuality unacceptable. I sometimes wonder how much the people that carry this position interact with lesbians and gays. At some point it would become obvious that lesbians and gays are just people… 99.9% the same as them. If they truly knew them, then acceptance might follow.
While acceptance would be wonderful it is not required. In the mosaic that is the world, and especially that is America, tolerance is what is needed. You can tolerate without acceptance of the behavior. The author of a Psychology Today blog article (see below) Tolerance, Acceptance, Understanding, Jefferson M. Fish, PhD equates tolerance to the Golden Rule. I find that a wonderful equation, especially so as a version of the Golden Rule is found in just about all religions.
Judaism: “What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.” ~ Talmud, Shabbat 3id
Christianity: “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” ~ Luke 6:31
Islam: “No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.” ~ Sunnah
Buddhism: “Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful” ~ Udana-Varga 5,1
Hinduism: “This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.” ~ Mahabharata 5,1517
And I could go on.
While I can wish for acceptance of all of God’s children, tolerance is acceptable until that time comes.