A Golf “Innovation” or A Bridge Too Far — Super Sized Holes

Most of my golf is played on public golf courses. Being who I am most of that golf is played at those courses that tend to be less expensive. The game played at these establishments only vaguely resembles the game that is seen on television. This has very little to do with the disparity in skill levels between the two sets of players. The casual game played at public courses by most players only makes a passing nod to the official rules of golf. It may be different at country clubs, but I suspect it is only by a small degree or perhaps being less open about it.

Occasionally you encounter people that are extremely serious about their game, but most folks are out to have a good time. As such, there are a significant number of players that use golf as an excuse to drink. Perhaps if I were more coordinated I might do this, but I keep my beer drinking to one or two after the round.

I have no problem with folks out for a good time on the golf course. I tell everyone I play golf with three ends in mind. First, I play for the golf. Since I walk and carry my bag 95% of time I play for the exercise. Lastly, I play for the social aspect of it. Which end is most important varies round by round.

The rules of golf are typically bent in several ways. Many folks play “winter rules” year round. That is they move the ball a few inches to improve their lie if it looks dodgy to them.

Gimmes, conceding a putt, are routine within the leather. If the ball, as measured from the hole, is less than the length of the putter shaft before the grip begins, it is considered good. You do not have to putt it, just score it.

Just about everybody will allow a mulligan off the first tee. A mulligan is a replay of a shot without penalty. Nowhere are mulligans allowed under the rules of golf. I’ve played with foursomes that allowed one mulligan per nine. The first tee mulligan comes from most folks just stepping to the first tee and playing without warming up. A lot of cheaper less expensive courses do not have driving ranges associated with them, or they charge an obscene amount for range balls. This results in folks that may putt and chip some, stretch a little and then start playing. This routine is counterproductive for hitting a good first shot.

Under the rules of golf a ball hit out of bounds or lost is penalized stroke and distance. You are charged a penalty stroke and go back to where you originally hit the ball. During most casual rounds, folks play this situation like a lateral water hazard. You drop within a club or two or three of where the ball went out of bounds or you think it was lost. This does have the benefit of speeding up rounds on public courses. If I were to go back to re-hit a shot I discovered ended up out of bounds, I would probably be jeered by my group and the surely the group playing behind us.

These are the most common deviations, but there are many more including some individual ones. I refuse to play out of a footprint in a sand trap. Why should I be penalized on a shot that is already hard enough for me because some yahoo did not have the golf etiquette to rake the effingham trap?

All of the above was to get my point. Sunday the course I normally go to which has two 18 hole courses was overflowing to the seams. Generally Sunday afternoons, the crowds have petered out, and it is a nice time to play some unhurried golf. It has been the rainiest June on record here in St. Louis so many golfing days have been lost. I suppose folks were finally glad to see a playable day. This, however, drove me over to a course I go to perhaps once a year, River Lakes Golf Course. The courses I normally go to, Columbia and Columbia Bridges are reasonably Redneck (or Hoosier as they call them around here), but River Lakes takes that Redneck factor up a couple magnitudes. The course is also extremely flat and tends to hold water. It is bounded by a busy train track on one side and cornfields on the remainder. I find the course boring and the environment distracting. I just generally do not have pleasant time there, but I can hit the little round ball there when I cannot get on a course elsewhere.

However, I think they have made a deviation from standard golf a bridge too far. The standard golf hole measures 4.25 inches in diameter with a golf ball being 1.68 inches in diameter. On the front nine of this course they now have two holes on each green. One hole is the standard size, and the other is much larger (see the pictures). I did not measure, but I am guessing the revisionist holes were 8 to 10 inches in diameter. Maybe in a world of gimmes this makes sense, but I would rather my playing partner concede the putt to me. Somehow aiming at a golf hole the size of basketball hoop seems so very wrong. Putting is half the game, this would push it to a minor position. They bemoan in bowling how common 300 games have become due to the new technical balls. What meaning would a hole-in-one have with such giant receptacles? The traditionalist in me rebels. The fellow at the club house explained to me that they hoped to speed up play. What generally slows down play is hackers looking for their tee shots that have been sprayed 40 yards off line. I’ve observed over and over groups that take forever to get to the green and then spend milliseconds putting. The other issue with is that once I was behind a tree, and I saw just one flag. I hit my shot stiff…to the wrong flag. I had forgotten about their silly two pins on each green. On another shot I was stymied (remember stymies) by the new pin where I could not putt towards my hole. I invoked my footprint rule and moved the ball a bit. Here is a link to an article advocating for larger holes to make the game more “fun”: Can A Bigger Hole Save Golf? Top PGA Tour Pros Follow The Masters With Bold Experiment

Since I am on a rant, I am going to complain about another recent trend on public courses that I have witnessed in several states. Folks riding around in carts have begun to bring radios onto the course and playing them constantly and loudly. Remember how quite they get for the PGA Tour players on television? You used to only see this with folks trying to follow a game, and then they were generally polite enough to use earbuds. I don’t want to play golf feeling that I am at some beach with rude teenagers… so sayeth The Curmudgeon.

To my way of thinking, both the larger holes and the blaring music is another indication of our society seeking equilibrium at the lowest common denominator.

Oh well.